Wendy, Wendy, Where Have You Been?

I have been to the palace to visit the Queen. Well not the Queen actually, but I did see her dresses! Every year for about 2 months while the Royal family is on holiday, they open up some of the State Rooms of Buckingham Palace for visitors willing to pony up about 12 pounds. It ends on Tuesday September 26. It was something I wanted to do but all the weekend time slots were sold out so the kids couldn't come with me. Not exactly Chizz's cup of tea and most of the women I have met here have already been through. So I took myself and I must say I was perfect company! Because it is the Queen's 80th birthday, they had an additional display of 80 dresses she wore to different state dinners and occasions. I learned a few things gazing at all these dresses. One, the Queen is pretty short. Her official biography says she is 5ft 4 inches tall but I say poppycock to that! (Strong language, I know.) Either she is shorter or she needs someone to ask her where the flood is next time she wears one of these gowns. Secondly, she had a teeny, tiny waist in her younger years. I was surprised at how small the waists were in some of those gowns. Lastly, her taste in clothing got worse as she got older. Some of the gowns were terribly tacky with huge sequined flowers in bright colors. Basically muumuus with bugle beading. I was disappointed that they didn't have any of her handbags on display. Has she always carried those big huge leather numbers or did her taste in handbags evolve as well? Maybe they are saving that display for her 90th birthday.

The palace was beautiful, as you would expect. Gilded molding, silk wallpaper and huge portraits of people long since gone. I was surprised at the number of people who would lean over the ropes and touch the artifacts. You know there is a reason some of this stuff has been around since the 1600s and it is not because they let any Tom, Francois or Heinrich put their grubby little tourist hands all over it. I clicked my tongue several times at people but to no avail. I started to hurt myself. Finally some of the guides came over and took some people to task. One man says, "I only wanted to touch it". Hey! This isn't the petting zoo! Keep your hands off the priceless relics.

Of course if you want your own priceless relics, you head over to the official Buckingham Palace gift shop where you can buy official palace tea bags, official palace chocolates, official palace slippers and loads more. All in all a pretty cool day. But no mice under chairs to frighten. Bummer.