What Happened to all of the Tea?

I have been to more morning “coffees” since I moved to London. The other day I had three before 11:00 a.m. The first coffee was with the school Head Master (No, not because of Snake. As far as I know , he doesn’t know Snake. Yet.) Apparently the Head Master has these coffees with the new parents 5 or 6 couples at a time. It was very enjoyable, kind of like having coffee with your grandfather. Then I had a coffee for Kiki’s high school class parents. We learned what was in store for the kids this year academically and about other programs available to them. My third coffee was with the women’s club where we had a speaker from the metropolitan police and we learned about some of the safety and security issues in the neighborhood where we live. We can have guns in our homes but it is illegal to carry mace or pepper spray. Hmmmm. Very informative.

I have two more coffees next week and one the week after that. I think we are slowing down. I thought I would be drinking more tea here. I don’t even drink coffee.

Wendy, Wendy, Where Have You Been?

I have been to the palace to visit the Queen. Well not the Queen actually, but I did see her dresses! Every year for about 2 months while the Royal family is on holiday, they open up some of the State Rooms of Buckingham Palace for visitors willing to pony up about 12 pounds. It ends on Tuesday September 26. It was something I wanted to do but all the weekend time slots were sold out so the kids couldn't come with me. Not exactly Chizz's cup of tea and most of the women I have met here have already been through. So I took myself and I must say I was perfect company! Because it is the Queen's 80th birthday, they had an additional display of 80 dresses she wore to different state dinners and occasions. I learned a few things gazing at all these dresses. One, the Queen is pretty short. Her official biography says she is 5ft 4 inches tall but I say poppycock to that! (Strong language, I know.) Either she is shorter or she needs someone to ask her where the flood is next time she wears one of these gowns. Secondly, she had a teeny, tiny waist in her younger years. I was surprised at how small the waists were in some of those gowns. Lastly, her taste in clothing got worse as she got older. Some of the gowns were terribly tacky with huge sequined flowers in bright colors. Basically muumuus with bugle beading. I was disappointed that they didn't have any of her handbags on display. Has she always carried those big huge leather numbers or did her taste in handbags evolve as well? Maybe they are saving that display for her 90th birthday.

The palace was beautiful, as you would expect. Gilded molding, silk wallpaper and huge portraits of people long since gone. I was surprised at the number of people who would lean over the ropes and touch the artifacts. You know there is a reason some of this stuff has been around since the 1600s and it is not because they let any Tom, Francois or Heinrich put their grubby little tourist hands all over it. I clicked my tongue several times at people but to no avail. I started to hurt myself. Finally some of the guides came over and took some people to task. One man says, "I only wanted to touch it". Hey! This isn't the petting zoo! Keep your hands off the priceless relics.

Of course if you want your own priceless relics, you head over to the official Buckingham Palace gift shop where you can buy official palace tea bags, official palace chocolates, official palace slippers and loads more. All in all a pretty cool day. But no mice under chairs to frighten. Bummer.

Kiki says...

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Boring With a Little Bit of Fun Sprinkled In

Snake is back from his class trip. He got back in the evening, tired, hungry and a little bit crabby. As usual, I poked and prodded wanting to know how the trip was, what did he do, was it fun, how was the food, was it cold, did he have enough clothes, did he have too many clothes, who was in his room, was the bus trip fun, who did he sit with, did anyone get sick, and so on and so on. Finally he said "Mom, its like most things-- boring with little bits of fun sprinkled in!" Okay, that is life as a 13 year old sees it. As usual, it all trickles out eventually. He had more fun than he cares to admit. He climbed some huge rocks and got to repel down the sides. He jumped from a pier that he thinks was about 30+ feet high. (I saw video of a previous trip and I think he is pretty accurate on the height.) They kayaked. He also got to climb this telephone pole kind of thing, which was higher than the pier. Once you get to the top, you balance for a second and then you jump and try to catch a trapeze then you drop down into a net. He did it. Pretty cool. His big disappointment? They didn't sell any t-shirts or souvenirs. Because everyone wants to commemorate the most boring moments of their life.

And then there were two . . .

Quiet at our abode this week. Chizz is off traveling the world as he is usually doing about 2 days per week. This week Vienna, last week somewhere in Poland. Snake is on his class trip. The entire grade, about 100 kids, goes on an Outward Bound trip. They kayak, hike, rock climb and other fun things. The school's idea is that it is a bonding trip for the kids right before they start high school. He has been looking forward to it since we knew we would be moving here. The entire grade also goes to Normandy in May to study World War II. So far it looks like my kids will be traveling to more countries than me this year if I don't get a move on and plan some of our family vacations! So it is just Kiki and me. Funny how much more quiet it is with just one kid. She & I have our little routine though, which mainly consists of her not coming home until sometime after 7 p.m. when soccer gets out, doing her homework, getting on the computer to chat with friends both here and there and perhaps acknowledging my existence with a question about whether we have any chocolate chip cookies. Not everyone can handle the excitement.

Word of the Day

Someone once said that England and the United States were two countries separated by a common language. (Chizz thought it was Mark Twain but in doing some research, I found it was attributed to either George Bernard Shaw or Oscar Wilde.) Whoever said it, spoke the truth! Almost every day there is a phrase or word we hear that requires a run to the computer to translate. Reading the newspaper can usually provide one or two examples. It is very difficult to get through a story without at least “what does that mean” or “WTF” (that is usually Chizz). Why can’t the English speak American?? Well if we were living in France or Spain or some other country, we would most likely have to learn a phrase or two in the local language in order to assimilate. So in that vein, I am starting a feature in the blog called “Word of the Day”. Phrases, words, and jargon that we come across that might be different than in the United States. It will be educational and informative. However, what it won’t be is daily. I will just do an entry as I come across something worth noting.

So the first edition of Word of the Day will actually be a phrase. Yesterday in the paper there was an article about an exhibit of photos that Lord Snowdon had recently released. Lord Snowdon is the ex-husband of the late Princess Margaret, the Queen’s sister. These photos would also be for sale. One particular photo was causing a stir. It is a photo of Princess Margaret in a big bathtub wearing a tiara; apparently one she had worn on her wedding day. It was obvious that she didn’t have clothes on but you couldn’t see any of the other royal “jewels”. In the past the article said Lord Snowdon hadn’t released this photo because it wasn’t seemly to show royalty in its private moments. It was seemly to photograph those moments, just not to show the photos to anyone. Well evidently Lord Snowdon changed his mind and decided to include this photo for sale. That caused quite the stir. According to the article, Viscount Linley, Snowdon’s and Princess Margaret’s son, objected quite a bit to the photo being released. Apparently Linley has a somewhat strained relationship with his dad due to his 76-year-old dad’s over the top lifestyle and penchant for very young girl friends. Despite knowing that releasing this photo would greatly upset his son, Lord Snowdon did so anyway. The article said that this turn of events was just Lord Snowdon’s way of “cocking a snook” at his son. That is the word or phrase of the day, cocking a snook. What???

I went online to research what this meant and I come up with this passage from World Wide Words, an online English phrase book of sorts:

The truth is, we have no idea at all where this phrase comes from. The gesture of derision it encapsulates is that of putting one’s thumb to one’s nose and extending the fingers. Waggling them is optional but greatly improves the effectiveness of the insult. The gesture is widespread but names for it vary: cocking a snook is mainly the British name for what Americans sometimes describe as a five-fingered salute.

There you have it. A five-fingered salute. Not a very nice thing for a father to do to his son. My mother used to tell us when we were small and learning new words and vocabulary, when you use a word 5 times during the day it is yours for life. Now your goal - try using “cocking a snook” five times today. Go on, I dare you.

Stalking Paul

We live about three blocks away from Abbey Road. For those of you musically challenged, Abbey Road is the home to Abbey Road Studios where the Beatles often recorded. It is the sight of a famous album cover of the Beatles crossing the road at a zebra-like cross walk. The album cover was the center of quite a bit of Beatles hysteria in the 60s. Some speculated that Paul was dead because he was barefoot in the photo. Others questioned the significance of John wearing a white suit. It was pretty much a full-fledged brouhaha. On any given day, actually on almost all given days, you can find tourists on that street taking their own replica photos of themselves crossing the cross walk ala the Fab Four. Chizz & I thought it would make a great Christmas card photo this year. Chizz, me, Kiki & Snake all crossing the street, Chizz not wearing shoes, Snake all in white, me smoking a cigarette in the wrong hand. All very humorous, all very London of us. Kiki had a conniption fit. It was so not cool, so touristy. She walked by tourists doing this every day and she was not going to do it. Fine, we will have to think of something else. I opened a magazine yesterday afternoon and I see a picture of some “tourists” taking the Abbey Road photo (as us Londoners call it). I call Kiki down so she can see how uncool these people look. The tourists? Only the members of U2 and Green Day. Apparently they are in the Abbey Road studios recording some songs together. I guess Billie Joe and Bono don’t know that it is uncool. Some people are SUCH tourists.

I walk by Abbey Road all the time hoping to see Paul McCartney who lives in our neighborhood. I think right now he is the States though so my chances are slim of catching him around St. John’s Wood. Some friends of mine told me that they have seen him at Panzers which is a deli/grocery store in the neighborhood. It is a favorite among Americans because it carries quite few American food items. I also have made it a habit of walking down his street in hopes of catching a glimpse of him. I know that if we met we would become best friends. I could go for tea and give him advice on things like next time try dating a girl born before the Beatles broke up or to remind him to think with other parts of his body first when he is making that pretty important life partner choice. But so far I haven’t even seen anyone at his house or connected to his house. I have seen the street sweeper assigned to his street but I am guessing he isn’t very close to Paul. I will have to keep trying.

Now you can stalk us if you want. Abbey Road Studios has a live webcam that they broadcast and you can see the famous crosswalk. The kids walk to school this way everyday so if you look around 7:50 a.m. (11:50 p.m. the night before PST), you might see them cross the walk. The link is at the end of this entry. Let me know if Kiki & Snake look uncool or so like tourists.

http://www.abbeyroad.co.uk/virtual_visit/webcam

My Couch Is Too Fat for My House

Several weeks ago, in our furniture buying frenzy, we bought a sofa bed. It is a small sofa bed, only a two seater and we figured the bed could house kids that came to visit or our own children when they were displaced from their rooms. The sofa was to be delivered yesterday. I waited all day yesterday for it to be delivered. It would go in our family room area and all four of us could sit in that room at one time - a simple goal, one I thought attainable until yesterday. The delivery men could not get the sofa up the staircase. It was too wide. Ugh!!!! I personally don't think they tried that hard. Our other sofa was a bit difficult but after 30 minutes of maneuvering, the men were able to get it up the stairs. But these guys tried 2 times, it didn't work so they called it a day. It remains to be see whether I will get all of my money back (the company is calling it a "special order' although fortified with a good nights sleep and a bit of diet coke I think I am ready to tackle that battle today), whether I will end up donating this sofa to charity or whether we will all four be able to sit in our family room someday. As someone said to me very recently, yes indeed this is the glamorous life I envisioned when moving to Europe. This week sofabeds, next week perhaps tea with the Duchess of Cornwall - who knows?

Knee Deep in Boxes

Our household shipment arrived late last week and I have been very busy trying to find a place for everything. It has been challenging. We have only one real bank of closets to speak of and those are in our room (and completely filled). We do have quite a bit of space in our kitchen cabinets but I did discover one problem. Our plates are too fat for the cupboards! All of my plates are 11 inches and the cabinets are 10 inches deep! The lower cabinets work but it required some adjustments. Flexibility is the key. Now what to do with all the cardboard and paper from the boxes? We are lucky. The City of Westminster (another level of bureaucracy within London) where we reside has strategically placed recycling bins where you can dump your large amounts of paper, cardboard, glass etc. without limit or cost to you. The bins are about one block away. Chizz and I have been happily carrying cardboard through the neighborhood and dumping like mad. The kids find it mildly embarrassing. Every time we go out we make them take an armful to take with us to the recycling bin. Every time they smart off, we tell them to take some cardboard to the recycling bin. Feeling Blue? Recycling cardboard makes you feel so good. Bad day at school? Cardboard dumping is just the thing to jolly you out of your bad mood. Good grade on a test! Let’s celebrate by taking cardboard to the bin! It seems like we have been carting cardboard for weeks yet there still seems to be so much left. Hopefully there is an end in site. I am off – guess where?

Today

Not much to say about today. We don’t have a television yet so we are missing all of the anniversary shows. Although some look interesting, I am glad we aren’t able to watch. The papers carry some news here on the subject but I am guessing not to the same extent as the US. I am still not sure of my emotions on the subject. It has been so interconnected with this most likely ill-advised war or wars, that we sometimes lose track of the enormity of the event itself. Not who did what to whom, whether we should avenge it, who should be punished, the trials, and the hunt. We lost track that nearly 3000 people died and their families are affected in ways we cannot imagine. Dying in such a public way. Their loved ones' last moments of anguish broadcast on the 6:00 news. I don’t think they need the anniversary hoopla to be reminded, I bet they are reminded every day of their lives with ordinary unexpected things like seeing their loved one’s favorite salad dressing in the market. I think back over all of the memories of the last five years I have with my family. Those moments go on. It must be bittersweet, not just graduations and birthdays, Christmases and Hanukahs but the days when a light bulb needs changing, the kids throw up and the paper doesn’t get delivered. The happy moments have a momentum of their own; they carry on. The every day moments must be overwhelming. That is what I think about.

I Charge, therefore, I Am

As of today, I am somebody in the UK! I got my new debit and charge cards in the mail. Yahoo!! Chizz has had his bank account since he moved here and one of the first things we did when I got here was to have me put on the account. I had to wait for a credit check and other bank doings before they approved and sent me the cards. It is funny how dependent you are on your cards. I had to get money from Chizz every day in order to buy groceries, give the kids lunch money or if I wanted to do anything else. It made me feel like a kid asking permission, which I don't do well. Also, another downside for Chizz was that he got to see actually how much money I might go through in a day or two! I think he was blissfully ignorant before and secretly can't wait to return to that state now. All will be right with the world now, the planets have all realigned, I can shop and Chizz can go back to being happily unaware.

Public Service Announcement

Chizz has left London to go the States for a long weekend with his college buddies. Given his penchant for being nearby when some drama unfolds (see Degree of Difficulty post), I thought it only fair to the rest of the traveling public this weekend to let you know his general itinerary, Gatwick-Dallas-Santa Fe. His return day you ask? How about Monday? The date?
SEPTEMBER 11, 2006 - the five year anniversary of the World Trade Center. Sigh. Say a little prayer.

Good News From Kiki!

Kiki made the junior varsity team in soccer. They still call it soccer in our school. She is quite happy. She didn’t think she had a chance, the team is quite competitive. Last year the varsity team had no underclassmen on it and I think it was the same for the JV as well. She is quite happy about it. They have 1 game scheduled in mainland Europe and she is excited about that. Now I just have to figure out how to get to the games by bus and tube. It should be fun!!

It Doesn't Suck to Be Us!!

We went to see Avenue Q last night at the Noel Coward Theatre off Leicester Square. We took the kids although it says everywhere it is not appropriate for children. We are very bad parents. I think the kids liked it though. It is sort of a vulgar, raunchy muppet type of show. Most of the characters are puppets ala Sesame Street but you can see the puppeteers right on stage. At first it is distracting but before you know it, you don't really notice the people. One of our favorite songs was "It sucks to be me". All the characters sing a few lines about why their particular set of circumstances makes their life the worst one and it sucks to be them. They all attempt to outdo each other. It is pretty funny. Other songs we particularly enjoyed? "It is okay to be gay", "Everyone is a little bit racist" and "The Internet is for Porn". See why we are bad parents? It will be a chapter in their Mommie Dearest books later. There are so many plays here that we want to see or that are coming soon. Spamalot, the Monty Python play, is coming this month along with Wicked. We have already seen Wicked twice in San Francisco but I have a suspicion that we will see it in London as well. That is alright with me, going to the theatre was one of the things I most looked forward to about moving. So far we have no lyrics to add to the "It sucks to be me" song. Pretty sweet.