Thursday, May 01, 2008

Snake's On The Plane

Snake has some business to tend to in the United States. I don't know - something about tending to his portfolio. (Joking!) So we went off to Heathrow yesterday. Always a fun trip (not!). We get to the airport and I, of course, go into "Mom-mode" organizing him, bossing him around a bit. Finally he turns to me and says "Mom, I can handle this - backoff". So I let him. And he did - beautifully. Printed out his boarding cards at the kiosk thing, dropped his bag and made his way to the security line. With a quick hug and kiss, he was off through security - crossing that line where no moms are allowed to go.

Or so I thought. I got a call about 4 1/2 hours after his scheduled departure time. From Snake. On the plane. Apparently United loaded them all up, pulled away from the gate and then discovered a mechanical failure. Which they attempted to fix while they were still on the plane. So they had been on the plane for almost 5 hours, no food, just water and waiting. Oh, they put one of the movies on, National Treasure II. What is United trying to do - kill them??? It was decided that the flight would be cancelled, a new airplane part obtained and the flight would go out at 9:00 a.m. the next day. Bummer.

So Snake and I decided he would just take Heathrow Express home. He & his sister have taken many flights with us over the past two years, they know the airport pretty well, he knows how to get to the Heathrow Express train platform and had enough money to buy a ticket. I figured I would see him in about an hour. The train comes into Paddington station which is a short walk from our flat.

About an hour later, I get another call. From Immigration. Because he is under 18, Her Majesty's Customs officials consider Snake to be a minor, unaccompanied and they won't let him go through Immigration and Customs without knowing an adult is waiting for him on the other side. When I made Snake's reservations, I specifically called United and asked if he was an unaccompanied minor and they said no. Apparently they don't consider them minors after 14. I explained that to the Immigration officer and he said that may very well be, but the government didn't and he would be held there until I got there. I was assured he would be well taken care of. So I hustled down as quick as I could. Visions of Snake being held with drug traffickers, or shoppers trying to skirt by duty laws or grandmothers trying to bring in tea bags from countries on the quarantine list filed my head. Oh the humanity.

When I get to Heathrow, I call the number I am given and told Snake will be brought out immediately. Immediately about 40 minutes later. He is there, looking tired and a little pale. I showed my ID to a very disinterested United employee and we went off on the train. When we are settled, we discuss his "adventure". When he was told that he would not be allowed to go through customs until I got there, Snake was told to take a seat on the bench at Immigration. You know the one, it is in front of the big line where people are sent to sit until they can be suitably interrogated for whatever offense they may have committed. Snake sat there for about 2 1/2 hours. Apparently watching the Colbert Report on his Ipod. All total - he spent about 7 1/2 hours at Heathrow not going anywhere. He wasn't offered any food or even offered the opportunity to buy a snack from a vending machine. So the first stop we had to make was for a Snake snack. Fortified, he was able to see a bit of humour in the situation.

I spent some time complaining to United today about the discrepancy between their minor status and Customs & Immigrations minor definition. I really didn't get anywhere but don't worry, I am penning my letter already in my head. If I had been told Snake was considered an unaccompanied minor to begin with, I would have left to go pick him up the minute he told me the flight was canceled because I would have known they wouldn't just let him walk off the plane. Conservatively that would have saved at least 1 1/2 hours off his waiting time.

So today we had to get up even earlier today to get to Heathrow. This time I made sure he texted or called me every step of the way. His last text said they were starting to go to the runway. I waited to leave the airport until he was pretty sure the plane was going somewhere. So he is off. Or at least I think so. Keep your fingers crossed.

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