The Empty Nest

Well, this weekend Chizz and I took tiny baby steps toward the next stage in our life. We went to orientation at Snake's college. I think it is a relatively new phenomenon, parents attending orientation. I don't remember my parents going to any college orientations but it is a good idea. If nothing else, it gives the parents a point of reference when their child mentions a place or location on campus. You can visualize it in your mind. Or if they don't call, you have a better image of what trouble they may or may not be getting into.

In our case, Snake is going to a mid-size university in a large size city, Washington DC. Since he is one of over two thousand entering freshman, I am pretty sure I won't be giving away his anonymity if I mention the university - THE George Washington University. THE is a very important part of the name. If you are used to the way Ohio State football players say their almamater's name, then you get the idea. GW (or G-Dub, if you are so inclined) is right smack dab in the middle of it in DC. Four blocks from the White House, right next door to the World Bank (in fact, the World Bank Building is on GW property, if you believe GW), a hop, skip and a jump to the Lincoln and Washington Memorials. It is an inspiring location. I am hopeful that Snake will enjoy the historical and political nature of this city. I know I will on my many, many, many visits!!

The parents' program ran parallel to the students' program. Some of our seminars were the same, except from a different perspective. For example, they had a session on housing. For the kids, it dealt with specific questions on their particular housing assignments, what to expect on move in day, how to deal with roommates, the role of the house proctor (RA), and overall life in the dorms. For the parents, we dealt with the practical - what to bring (or more importantly what NOT to bring) on move in day, tours of the residence halls, how packages and mail are treated (for security reasons in DC, packages are dealt with in a different manner). I took advantage of the dorm tours. Ask my kids and the kids I have gone on college tours with, I LIVE for dorm tours - love, love, love them. The dorm Snake is going to live in is pretty old, I think built before 1925 but don't hold me to it. But overall, it is not bad. The rooms are pretty large even for those kids who will be in either a 5 person or 6 person room, like Snake. The rooms are not luxurious by any means, but they shouldn't be. These are kids, they shouldn't live in the same manner as their parents - they haven't earned it. But my-oh-my you should have heard the parents kvetching. "How could their little princess with 45 pairs of shoes be expected to share a closet? The bathroom are simply awful! These floors should be carpeted! These floors shouldn't be carpeted! (Some rooms have carpet, some don't. Whatever you have, apparently you won't be happy with)." After listening to one mom go on and on and on about how small the 4 person room her daughter had (which by the way, contained 4 single beds, 4 dressers, 4 desks and 4 closets), I told her I thought these dorms were fairly large and pointed out that at UCLA where Kiki goes, they would put 10 kids in this room and it still would have more room then most of the dorms there. She was not amused. Whatever.

Then we had the programs more specific to the attendee. For the kids, sessions on class registration, meetings with advisers, the different programs and departments at the schools. For parents, sessions on campus security, financial aid, the meal plan, study abroad, etc. GW has a Parents Services department which acts as a liaison between the parents and the college. This department had several sessions which I thought were helpful. They also sponsored some skits about the different issues parents might face (how often to call, how to deal with homesickness, when to be concerned about a student, how to let go). Although many of the skits portrayed the mom as the "problem", which didn't seem to surprise Chizz as much as it outraged me, overall the skits were very well done. And something strange hit me. In the middle of the skits, it happened. I felt my throat tightening, and tears welling up in my eyes. It is not that I didn't know that sending my youngest child off to college would be tough, but I have 2 more months before he leaves. I know it will be hard. It was hard when we dropped Kiki off. I held it together until we got in the car, then the floodgates opened. But that was when we left her there. We still have 2 more months with Snake. Why is it different?

Perhaps because it is a bigger step to our next stage, the empty nest. Its not that I am not looking forward to the next part, I am. There are some big changes afoot in the WTF household. I can't go into it in detail because we haven't told quite everyone yet and they deserve to hear in person before I put it on the Internet or the world wide web, but I am excited about what the future holds. Maybe I am not quite ready for the "kid part" to end. Oh I know they will always be my kids, but they won't BE kids. They won't need me in the same way, rely on me the same way. No more little league games, swim meets, brownie meetings, skinned knees, missing teeth, Captain Underpants, American Girl dolls. No more family Jeopardy watching, hot tubs on winter nights, inside jokes (Japanese Businessmen pods - or walking without moving arms). Yes, I think that is it. I am nostalgic for those days past. How do I know? Because I am quietly crying on the train to NY right now, making the man next to me very uncomfortable. Yes, I think I have struck a nerve. Just didn't realize it would be mine.