Still Cruisin' After 50 Years

My parents celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary this summer. In a culture where the breakup of a 2, 5 or 10 year celebrity marriage is mourned as "long standing", a 50 year marriage is almost unbelievable. It takes resolve. I think it comes from being of a generation where successful marriages were expected, there were no other options. I don't think that is the case now.

In celebration of their anniversary, they gave all us kids presents. A concept I am hoping might catch on. So from now on, everyone should send me a gift on their birthday, anniversary or any other special occasion. Make it so. Anyway for their anniversary, Mom & Dad took all 5 daughters, their spouses, partners, and families on a week long Alaskan cruise. One big happy party of 18.


Some of us had cruised before but most were cruise newbies, Chizz included. He was concerned that he wouldn't find enough to do, he is not really the bingo type. But we only had 3 days where we were at sea the entire day, the other days were spent at ports of call. Our ship went from Vancouver to Icy Strait Point AK, then to Skagway and finally Juneau. We ended back at Vancouver. Months prior to the cruise were spent planning different excursions for the days we were in port.

Each family planned their own excursions. Our first excursion was whale watching in Icy Strait Point. Simply put, AMAZING!!! The boat was a small 6 passenger ship, it was our family plus Uncle D. The boating company won't guarantee you will see any humpback whales but our Captain was pretty confident and sure enough within about 10 minutes of setting off, we were seeing our first whales. And they were close!! The sound the whales make is so loud, it is like a groaning or creaking. We took quite a bit of video. I have some better shots of the whales but I can't figure out how to get a still photo from the video and my experts are already in bed for the evening. They have school tomorrow. So you will just have to trust me. Our captain was pretty good at spotting the whale spouting from quite a distance. Often he would see something far away and off we would go and then find ourselves within feet of a few whales. After a while, we could see the spouts for ourselves. In this photo you can see the spout. See what looks like steam rising from the water? That is the whale spouting from the hole on top of his head. We watched a sea lion play with one of the whales for quite some time. Actually I think the sea lion was tormenting the whale, sort of playing tag. It was fascinating. Since the boats are only licensed to take 6 people at a time, our group split up, going on different boats and different times. All the groups saw whales and one even saw some bears on the shore from their boat. So definitely successful outings. This is not a cheap excursion but everyone that went on the whale watching trips thought them well worth the expense.

The next excursion day was Skagway. Our family split up, Snake and Chizz went with Auntie M. and her family on the Skagway Triple Adventure, hike an hour, bike an hour and then raft an hour. They all had a great time and they got to see a bear from the shore. Snake actually spotted it and pointed it out to the group. He was pretty excited about that. Kiki, Auntie K and I went on our own triple adventure, a Ghosts & Good Times Girls tour of the town of Skagway, (and its famous brothel), shopping and lunch. We didn't spend an hour at each but we it was pretty fun and it wasn't all that exhausting. We can recommend the tour, our guide was dressed as a lady of the evening might have been during the gold rush (1896) in Skagway. She gave us a very insights into Alaska (which have become all the more interesting in light of certain other events more political lately). Alaska really is the last frontier. Skagway has about 800 full time residents during the year. During the height of the summer season, the town has about double the residents when the seasonal workers come to town to help serve the over 750,000 tourist they get per year. Our guide pointed out that there are not roads leading out of most towns in Alaska, they would be covered by snow and ice most of the year. People get into town three ways according to our tour guide, by plane, by boat or by birth canal. We met up with Uncle D., Chizz and Snake later on and had lunch at the Skagway Brewing Company. Uncle D. and Chizz have designated this summer as "Brewery Discovery Summer" and already have about 4 breweries under their belt.

Our last excursion day was Juneau. Our family did the helicopter ride to Juneau Ice Field and rode the Dog Sled. Really amazing. It was very, very, very expensive but truthfully the trip of a lifetime and I am really glad we did it. Kiki & Snake are definitely old enough to remember this and I think they will. I think Chizz thought the most fun
part was the helicopter. Those dog sleds dogs were amazing. One thing that surprised me was how small the dogs were, they were skinny. All of those movies where
you see dog sleds, the dogs are all furry and seem pretty good sized but in reality they are thin. One of the trainers explained to me that these dogs are like marathon runners plus. They often run 100 miles per day. When was the last time you saw a portly marathon runner? They just don't make them that way. The dogs were all pretty friendly and we were allowed to pet them and they seemed to be very
affectionate. I found listening to the "mushers" the most interesting part. These people live up on the glacier seven months of the year in tents. I asked him if they got cold and he told me "there is no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothes". As my kids would say "true that". All of these guys had participated in the Iditarod. I asked lots of questions, where do you sleep? (They provide tents but most of the participants like to sleep on their sleds in sleeping bags, with their dogs.) I was surprised to learn that it wasn't all about taking the fastest dogs to the race. You need all kinds of personalities, some leaders, some followers. It is definitely a team thing and not all of the dogs have the temperament to be in the front of the pack. And some dogs have bad days, days where they don't listen to the trainer very much. Our sled had to stop at one point to switch the dogs around because one of the ones in the lead was not listening, going right when he was supposed to go left. According to the musher, the dogs are like people and will have bad days and good days. Sometimes even during races you have to switch it up until
you get the right makeup for the team. It was fascinating. Then we get to go on a short run with the dogs. Everyone gets a turn at driving if they want. We all wanted to, of course. This picture is of Chizz driving in back. He was on a different sled from Kiki, Snake & I. Snake & Chizz rate this excursion as one of their favorites, and so do I.

On non-excursion days there was plenty to keep us busy. Some of us tried ballroom dancing lessons (not Chizz & I), some played bingo, some like to sit with a fancy drink in hand and watch the scenery go by. The scenery included several hours at the Hubbard Glacier. It was spectacular. The blue in this photo is not touched up. The ice absorbs the rays of red and yellow light leaving the blue. I was surprised at how blue it was and took way too many pcitures. Beside the scenery there were other distractions. The casino was a big hit for a few in the group. We managed to get 2 teams together for the 3 day trivia challenge. And our 2 teams, Deck Three Maniacs and Spawn of Art, dominated taking home the 1st and 3rd place medals respectively. Pretty nice!! Of course the main event for the cruise was the 50th anniversary and there were a few surprises along the way. One of the sisters wrote a little poem, recited by the
children. We also had t-shirts made up that we surprised the folks with at breakfast one morning. When they came to the table, they found us all wearing identical shirts - the front had a little emblem over the top left that said "Papa & Grandma's 50th anniversary cruise", the back was a copy of one of their wedding photos. They were very surprised, although it took Papa awhile to get it. Somehow he didn't notice we were all wearing the exact same shirt!!

Not surprisingly I think, I reflected quite a bit on marriage on this cruise. I thought about my parents' marriage and what it takes to get to 50 years. I mentioned before the "no failure" option that I think a lot of long standing marriages have. I look at my siblings' marriages and relationships. Some of them are newer than others, we have newlyweds, but most of us are in long standing first (and only) marriages or relationships. That doesn't happen by accident. Our parents modeled a good marriage to us, showing us by example how to live with a partner. I am sure they would tell you not every time was easy, they lost a home to a large fire, my dad was in Viet Nam, they traveled far away from friends and family as the result of their military career. But I think it never occurred to them that it would be easier to live apart or it would be better not to be married. Of course you have to lay the groundwork for a successful marriage by really knowing the person you are going to marry and perhaps, making sure you really know yourself. What is important to you, what do you want out of life, will your partner have those things now and in 20 years. Too often people get married for the wedding not the marriage. Once the party is over, they don't have much in common. It is harder to build on that. So in addition to their 50 years together as an achievement, I think my parents can look at their children's successful relationships and marriages as "their" achievements too. They showed us what "it" looks like. Thanks Mom & Dad.