TA-DA!!!

So I mentioned a little over two months ago, Chizz and I were starting a new adventure in a new city, New York!  In typical “Wendy & Chizz” fashion, we didn’t move quickly.  The job change happened quite awhile ago and Chizz’s company was very generous and understanding, but they made a fatal error – they told us “take your time”.  So we did.  Quite some time.  We had to go on vacation to Honduras, get Snake off to college, go on a UCLA football trip to Oregon, see Kiki off to college, celebrate Halloween, host Thanksgiving, celebrate Christmas, ring in the New Year and then go on a ski trip.  See what happened?  I took MY time. 

 In between we packed and moved our house.  We went from living in a 4+bed house to a 2 bed apartment.  And it was tough.  For me.  I had to make alot of choices about what to bring and what to leave.  We are lucky that Auntie K & Uncle D are housing the things we had to leave behind.  So I can visit them when we come back to California.  And I will. . .

But now we are embarking on this new stage in our lives.  A stage where kids don't usually reside, where we don't have to think about what is best for the kids, would the kids like this, what would the kids think.  And truthfully, it is going to take some time.  We find ourselves in a habit, watching the same shows that the kids liked out of routine, quickly scanning restaurant menus to make sure there is something the kids would eat.  It is hard to break.  As Chizz said, it is the first time in about 21 years where they didn't have to be our primary  thought.    We have to work on it a bit but it shouldn't be too hard.  It is still the same Wendy & Chizz, just from a different point of view.  So in that vein, I think the blog is going to be from a different point of view.   So this is the announcement of my new blog  "Wind the Frog - The Empty Nest Years".  You will find it here.  We are moving on and so is the blog.  Watch out New York and Wind the Frog!! 

Here's The Deal

Okay, so for a few months I have been dropping "oh NOT so subtle" hints that there were big changes in store for Chizz & I. I have mentioned our empty nest one or two or sixteen times. A change in lives is afoot. Now that Snake is ensconced in his VEPS (Very Expensive Private School) and Kiki fully engaged at her AAEPS (Almost As Expensive Public School), we can make the announcement.  Chizz and I are moving on up!  (to the West* Side, to a New York apartment in the skyyyy!) (sorry. . . .) 

That's right, we are moving to New York City.    Chizz took a new job in New York with his company a few months ago and has been doing the job from the West Coast but since that wasn't the original deal, we are moving.  We wanted to make sure that Snake got settled into college, that we tied up loose ends here, that we spent lots of cash flying back and forth between NY and California a few times and that we paid rent on a NY apartment for a few months before we actually moved.  Now that those things have all been accomplished, we are ready to move.  Almost.  We still have to call the movers and pack up. Minor details. 

We are excited about the move.  We think it will be fun exploring a new city and learning a different way to live.  Let's face it, living in New York is going to be so much different than living in California.  The weather alone will be a challenge.  New York actually has weather.   Living in a 2 bedroom apartment will be an experience.  Not having a car will be interesting.  (After learning it will cost almost as much to house a car as to house Chizz, I had to give up one.  The coin was on Chizz's side. Two out of three times!) 

Yes, living in New York will almost be like living in a foreign country for this West Coast Girl.  In fact I keep coming up with similarities between this move and our move to London.  People speak with an accent - check! Outrageously expensive rents - check!  Large cosmopolitan city with lots of diversity and different cultures - check!  Soooooo, I have decided I will dust off the blog and try to blog on a more regular basis.  But I think I am going to do it from a different perspective, because my perspective now is a bit different.  We are not moving to NY with kids, so we don't have to consider whether there is a good school in our area, if there are activities for the kids to be involved in, where the most kids from their school live, what the kids would like,  we only have to think about what we would like, what will fit in our empty nest.  Our new lifestyle. . .   hmmmmm, something to think about. 

IF

it were your son, your brother, your cousin, your friend, your nephew, your grandson, your neighbor, would you believe Penn State and Joe Paterno had done enough? 

Yeah, didn't think so. 

The Empty Nest

Well, this weekend Chizz and I took tiny baby steps toward the next stage in our life. We went to orientation at Snake's college. I think it is a relatively new phenomenon, parents attending orientation. I don't remember my parents going to any college orientations but it is a good idea. If nothing else, it gives the parents a point of reference when their child mentions a place or location on campus. You can visualize it in your mind. Or if they don't call, you have a better image of what trouble they may or may not be getting into.

In our case, Snake is going to a mid-size university in a large size city, Washington DC. Since he is one of over two thousand entering freshman, I am pretty sure I won't be giving away his anonymity if I mention the university - THE George Washington University. THE is a very important part of the name. If you are used to the way Ohio State football players say their almamater's name, then you get the idea. GW (or G-Dub, if you are so inclined) is right smack dab in the middle of it in DC. Four blocks from the White House, right next door to the World Bank (in fact, the World Bank Building is on GW property, if you believe GW), a hop, skip and a jump to the Lincoln and Washington Memorials. It is an inspiring location. I am hopeful that Snake will enjoy the historical and political nature of this city. I know I will on my many, many, many visits!!

The parents' program ran parallel to the students' program. Some of our seminars were the same, except from a different perspective. For example, they had a session on housing. For the kids, it dealt with specific questions on their particular housing assignments, what to expect on move in day, how to deal with roommates, the role of the house proctor (RA), and overall life in the dorms. For the parents, we dealt with the practical - what to bring (or more importantly what NOT to bring) on move in day, tours of the residence halls, how packages and mail are treated (for security reasons in DC, packages are dealt with in a different manner). I took advantage of the dorm tours. Ask my kids and the kids I have gone on college tours with, I LIVE for dorm tours - love, love, love them. The dorm Snake is going to live in is pretty old, I think built before 1925 but don't hold me to it. But overall, it is not bad. The rooms are pretty large even for those kids who will be in either a 5 person or 6 person room, like Snake. The rooms are not luxurious by any means, but they shouldn't be. These are kids, they shouldn't live in the same manner as their parents - they haven't earned it. But my-oh-my you should have heard the parents kvetching. "How could their little princess with 45 pairs of shoes be expected to share a closet? The bathroom are simply awful! These floors should be carpeted! These floors shouldn't be carpeted! (Some rooms have carpet, some don't. Whatever you have, apparently you won't be happy with)." After listening to one mom go on and on and on about how small the 4 person room her daughter had (which by the way, contained 4 single beds, 4 dressers, 4 desks and 4 closets), I told her I thought these dorms were fairly large and pointed out that at UCLA where Kiki goes, they would put 10 kids in this room and it still would have more room then most of the dorms there. She was not amused. Whatever.

Then we had the programs more specific to the attendee. For the kids, sessions on class registration, meetings with advisers, the different programs and departments at the schools. For parents, sessions on campus security, financial aid, the meal plan, study abroad, etc. GW has a Parents Services department which acts as a liaison between the parents and the college. This department had several sessions which I thought were helpful. They also sponsored some skits about the different issues parents might face (how often to call, how to deal with homesickness, when to be concerned about a student, how to let go). Although many of the skits portrayed the mom as the "problem", which didn't seem to surprise Chizz as much as it outraged me, overall the skits were very well done. And something strange hit me. In the middle of the skits, it happened. I felt my throat tightening, and tears welling up in my eyes. It is not that I didn't know that sending my youngest child off to college would be tough, but I have 2 more months before he leaves. I know it will be hard. It was hard when we dropped Kiki off. I held it together until we got in the car, then the floodgates opened. But that was when we left her there. We still have 2 more months with Snake. Why is it different?

Perhaps because it is a bigger step to our next stage, the empty nest. Its not that I am not looking forward to the next part, I am. There are some big changes afoot in the WTF household. I can't go into it in detail because we haven't told quite everyone yet and they deserve to hear in person before I put it on the Internet or the world wide web, but I am excited about what the future holds. Maybe I am not quite ready for the "kid part" to end. Oh I know they will always be my kids, but they won't BE kids. They won't need me in the same way, rely on me the same way. No more little league games, swim meets, brownie meetings, skinned knees, missing teeth, Captain Underpants, American Girl dolls. No more family Jeopardy watching, hot tubs on winter nights, inside jokes (Japanese Businessmen pods - or walking without moving arms). Yes, I think that is it. I am nostalgic for those days past. How do I know? Because I am quietly crying on the train to NY right now, making the man next to me very uncomfortable. Yes, I think I have struck a nerve. Just didn't realize it would be mine.

Okay, I Got On "The Facebook". Now What?

Alright, I got a Facebook page. I am not sure why. I guess because everyone else was, all the "cool" kids were doing it, peer pressure (and yes, I would jump off that proverbial bridge). But now I am not quite sure what I do with it.

I have 11 friends as of this morning, mostly relatives. That is not very many. Not compared to one of my "friends", a teenager who at the same time this morning had 626 friends! Yikes! How does that happen? I have asked my kids not to friend me (or more accurately not to feel bad about not friending me.) At this point in their lives they deserve a little privacy and I am not ready for more access. As I mentioned to a friend yesterday, I am happy being blissfully ignorant. Both Kiki & Snake seemed relieved.

But what do I do now? I know I should put my status on it, but I feel pressure, intimidated. Some people use their status to update their friends or family on the mundane activities of their lives, but I think that might be boring. Shouldn't my status be something pithy, profound or otherwise fascinating? I think so. So I have been racking my brain. And I think the more I think I become intimidated even more. Think, Wendy, think. What did I do yesterday? Would any of those things make a good status? Let's see. "Cleared off all knick-knacks, so furniture can be moved for new carpet". No. "Watched back-to-back episodes of Tabitha's Salon Takeover" No. "Went to Safeway" No. "Went to notary to get forms signed" No. "Played 3 games of Trouble with 5-year-old" No. Maybe my life isn't fascinating enough right now for a Facebook page. That is probably why I haven't updated my blog in a while (although there might be things in the works worth mentioning later). So I am stumped. I mentioned my conundrum to my friend, she accused me of overthinking. Just put something in and don't worry about it. My Safeway trip? My TV watching? My housework? Really? If this is what my "friends" want to see, I think I need more friends.

Coincidence? I Think Not.

Well if you follow baseball, you know that the San Francisco Giants made it to the World Series. Just not on the night that Snake was there. But that is okay, at least they are in it and for a few more weeks we can be tortured by the spectacle that is San Francisco Giants Baseball.

That is it's "rep" - torture. Because the Giants never do things the easy way. It seems like every game was won by one or two runs; I hardly remember any blow outs. The game is always decided in the last inning or sometimes the last out. Some people find that exciting, I find it nerve wracking. I get as nervous as I did when one of our kids was playing sports. I find myself pleading ("just let them do well", "just one hit"), pacing, watching the game between the fingers that are clamped over my eyes. It is not easy.

So when in Game 6 the Giants fell behind the Phillies in the first inning, in addition to just feeling horrible for Jonathan Sanchez (I always think about their mothers and how tough it must be for them), I knew I had to to something. So I invoked the spirits of "Giants Past":

That's right, I called out the Big Guns - the bobbleheads of JT Snow, Randy Winn and Benito Santiago. I put them around the TV and prayed that they do their magic, their mojo, their voodoo that they do so well. And what happened? The Giants tied up the game. Hmmmm. Then when the Phillies came back and tied it up, I decided we needed something else. Another icon. But what? Then it came to me. Actually, it fell out of the cabinet in the garage when I was putting something away.

The replica Giants baseball! And what happened, the Giants won. Coincidence? Puhhhhleeeeease! So tonight the Giants play in Game 1 of the World Series. And we will all be here watching - me, Chizz, Benito, JT, Snake and Randy. But don't worry if things get tough for the Giants, I've got the rally rag Snake found on the ground at Game 5 waiting in the bullpen. I'm just sayin'. . . . . .

Go Giants!!

Best.Dad.Ever.

We have 1/2 of a 1/6th share of two season tickets to the San Francisco Giants. For years, our brother-in-law Uncle D has shared some season tickets with a group of friends, 2 bleacher seats in section 140. A while back, Uncle D considered giving up his share. He had become a new father and moved out of the city, my sister (his wife) was traveling on business more. It was getting harder and harder to get to games. Chizz came up with the idea that instead of giving up the seats, why didn't he share them with him? Hence the 1/2 share of 1/6th. It actually works pretty well, we get to go to 8 - 10 games a year, mostly in the summer. We all get to go to a few games a year.

This year the Giants have made it to the playoffs!!! Yahoo! So Uncle D & Chizz went to a little "draft" party with the other partners to decide how to split up the post season tickets. I am not exactly sure how it worked but I think what they did was pick numbers and based on your draw, you got to choose your ticket. Chizz and Uncle D each got a ticket to a playoff game and a World Series game. They even got the same playoff game, and they can go together. Well, until Snake expressed some interest in going. So what did Chizz do? He gave up his ticket to his son. What a guy!! So Snake gets to go to Game 5 tonight, not Chizz. So Snake gets to see arguably the best 2 pitchers in baseball today, Lincecum and Halliday, battle it out, not Chizz. So Snake gets to see, possibly, the Giants sew it up tonight, not Chizz. And all that is because Snake is already winner in the Dad lottery.

Absolutely.


Go Giants.

Facebook

Chizz and I don't have facebooks for several reasons. For Chizz, it is because he has a hard time figuring out how to make sure his work life and his personal life don't intersect. He has a "phoney baloney job" gentlemen and they probably wouldn't understand things like rolling shopping carts off dorm buildings (allegedly), setting palapas on fire (accidentally - allegedly) and hitting Japanese employees of the Korean embassy with errant golf balls (truthfully). It's just best left unsaid.

Me? The reason I don't have one is that I don't want the embarrassment of my kids rejecting my friend request. Also, I think my kids have reached the age where, much to my dismay, they deserve a bit of privacy. C'mon think about it, as a young adult would you have wanted your mom knowing everything you did every moment of the day or, more importantly, every moment of every evening? Noooooooo! But in this digital age, we have the capability to do just that. Our kids have to learn what to put on line and when. If they don't it can have disastrous results - loss of potential jobs, loss of friends, damage to your reputation. I encourage my kids to think carefully about what they put online and save a few exceptions, I think they have been pretty good.

That is why I support applications such as this one. It helps kids make the appropriate choices online.

Hey! Wait a minute. . . . .

Turkeys in My Own Back Yard

No, not the ones in the California Senate who can't pass a budget in time for the second year in a row. (By the by, c'mon guys and gals!!) Real turkeys. Wild ones. I was sitting talking with Snake in the family room (probably one of our deep philosophical discussion on the current problems of the day or football) when I noticed a turkey on our back lawn. Then another, then another. Wild turkeys are not totally unheard of in our area, but they are usually found in the parks or more remote areas. So I took a photo of the 5 or so that made it to our lawn.

When I was outside, I could hear quite a bit of noise. Who knew turkeys were so loud? I went the front and there were probably 30 turkeys total in the front of our house. I have to admit, these turkeys are pretty ugly. Definitely not meal material. The strange thing is that the turkeys have now made an appearance two weeks in a row - both times on a Thursday. Is this some kind of strange deep set existentialist "anti-turkey" pre-Thanksgiving message? Are the turkeys of the world (or the turkeys of Northern California) trying to tell me something? We will see how long this trend continues. And if one of these turkeys shows up with Michael Moore or some kind of a protest sign, we may be having Vegetarian Thanksgiving this November!

Like Mother, Like Daughter

When I was in high school (many, many moons ago), I lived on Okinawa. Our father was in the US Air Force and we were stationed there for a bit over three years. It was different living on a military base on a small foreign island about 6o miles long and about 2 miles wide at it widest point. As children, some of the differences were especially annoying. One particular example that comes to mind was television. We received our television from Armed Forces Radio and Television. At that time, it was the only English language station in the area and it was only on about 10 hours a day, mostly when we were at school. So we didn't get to see much tv when we were there and what we did see was a bit dated.

Another unusual thing to deal were typhoons. A typhoon is a tropical storm or cyclone in the northeastern section of the Pacific Ocean. When we had a typhoon warning, depending on the level or severity of the storm we would have several courses of action. If it was a low level storm, we would just be warned about heavy rains and winds. But as the severity level of the storm increased, the restrictions became more limiting. At a certain level, they really encouraged all personnel to stay indoors unless absolutely necessary. So to make staying indoors more palatable, whenever a typhoon rating got above a certain level, they would keep television on for 24 hours. In addition, they stockpiled better programming to show only when there was a typhoon. For example, they might have Sound of Music or something similar playing. Kids always looked forward to typhoons just as kids in Maine would look forward to a snow day.

One year we were very excited because there was a typhoon rating and the Wizard of Oz was going to be on. All 5 of us were looking forward to it. Mom had made a HUGE bowl of popcorn and we were just settling down to watch. All of the sudden, Auntie K, who was about 4 at the time, announced that she had stuck a popcorn kernel in her nose. No amount of blowing could dislodge it. So Mom announced she would have to take her to the emergency room AND (cue dramatic music here) we would all have to go with her. I think my dad was working at the time and mom felt she couldn't leave the 4 of us alone during a typhoon. So we all had to go to the clinic with them and miss Wizard of Oz. Oh, the unfairness of it all. We never let Auntie K. forget that and it still comes up occasionally in family discussions. (Remember that time more than 30 years ago, when we couldn't watch Wizard of Oz because of your and your popcorn kernel?) Truthfully - it still stings.

Scan forward 35 years. Yesterday, Snake picked up Zabba from preschool. It is very convenient having children with driver's licenses now. When he came home, he mentioned to me that the teacher said Zabba may or may not have a perler bead stuck up her nose!!! Apparently a friend told the teacher she had done this but since 4 year olds are not particularly good with detail, the teachers were a bit skeptical and they couldn't see one. So I had Zabba blow really hard and then lie down on the bed. Sure enough, there was a perler bead up there. I felt I could get it with my tweezers but on my first attempt, I pinched Zabba and she was pretty reluctant to have me stick anything else up her nose. So we had to go to the pediatrician's office. They took it in stride; apparently retrieving foreign objects from noses or ears is a weekly occurrence and they have all kinds of instruments for this purpose. It took all of a minute.

Auntie L, Auntie M & Auntie S will be glad to know that I let everyone at the doctor's office from nurses to doctors to medical assistants (the janitor didn't seem very interested) know the popcorn kernel story and how this proclivity is genetic. Revenge is a dish apparently best served ice cold!!!!! (Cue evil laughter here.)

California Busy Work

Did you catch Face the Nation Sunday Morning? There was a segment with David Boies, the attorney for the plaintiff and Tony Perkins, President of the Family Research Council. I couldn't remember exactly where I had heard about the Family Research Council but I did a bit of research and remembered. I will let you do your own research but let's just say, their organization was in the news recently when one of their founding members (whom they have since distanced themselves from in a BIG way) was caught apparently practicing what he most clearly does not preach.

As I was listening to these two men debate the recent Prop 8 ruling in California, it occurred to me that we are spending so much time doing this in our state when we have such HUGE problems in so many areas. Especially when I know that eventually we will get there, there being equality for ALL people, regardless of their gender, race, sexual orientation. We will get there. I was just hoping for sooner rather than later. I don't really want to get into the merits of each side, although. . . . Okay, just one small point. When Boies was pointing out that it is one to thing to pontificate on the television talk show circuit about "surveys", and "research" and "studies" done on the negative and harmful effect of gay marriage on children but when you get into a court of law, you need to prove that there are such studies and surveys and research done by accredited institutions. And there were none. None. Tony Perkins countered with that because this was a "new" area there had not been enough time to do credible studies or research on this issue. But he had loads of statistics that indicate the harm caused to children by being raised in single family homes or homes that were broken by divorce. Wait a minute!!! Is he quoting statistics of the harm done to children by the effects of heterosexual relationships that have splintered to prove his point that gay marriage would be harmful to children? What??? Actually he was. His point being the the breakdown of marriage started with the "no-fault" divorce laws. Wow!! Well, why don't we work on that? Instead of denying rights to a particular group who have never had the right to marry before, why don't we work on the making it more difficult for the people who get married to get divorced or make it more difficult to get married in the first place. Hmmmm. Wonder what kind of effect that would have on children? Wonder what effect that would have on prominent conservatives who have divorced, some - many, many times? What do you think Newt Gingrich? John McCain? Do you think it should be more difficult to get divorced, Rush Limbaugh, Mr. "I am on my 4th wife"? Boies also pointed out that there are studies on the effect of gay marriage on children. The studies are just not in the United States (understandably since most states preclude them) but from many countries in Europe where gay marriage has been allowed. And guess what they show? Nothing. Really. That there is really no difference to a child if a marriage breaks two gay parents or two heterosexual parents. It is hard either way. No surprise.

But I digress again, as usual. My main point was to be that the citizens of California need to really, really look around. Is this the biggest crisis facing our state? Really? Because I have found a few other things that I think we need to look at. In no particular order:


1. California is either 23rd or 44th in the nation in per pupil spending. The Census Bureau recently released ranking based on the 2007/2008 school year which found that California is 23rd in the nation. For some reason it takes over 2 years for the government to evaluate the data they receive. The NEA, which is the largest public school union in the US, found for the same time period California ranked 26th. However, the NEA just recently released its data for 2008/2009 year (apparently doesn't take them 2 years to process) which found that California plummeted to 44th place. Since historically the NEA and Census Bureau rankings have usually tracked within a few places of each other, we can expect that even in the Census Bureau ranking, California will be somewhere near 4oth place. If you have kids in public schools, you know that this is true. Parents are spending more and more out of their own pockets for school supplies, books, transportation. Costs that used to be part of the school's budgets are now routinely being passed on to the parents.

2. California is #2 on the states with the highest cost of living. (Hawaii is #1).

3. California is #3 on both highest cost of housing and highest cost of food.

4. California is #1 on highest teachers salaries. I know some people will say that is the reason that we rank so low in per pupil spending but I am not so sure. Don't we have to pay our teachers enough to eat, pay rent and pay the gas bill (see items 2 & 3)? I think it is too simplistic to say there is one root cause for all of this but at the same time, I suspect the teachers' union has done more harm then good in recent years. I know at one of the districts in our area, the teachers union and the district have come to an impasse over the district's request that the teachers pay a portion of their health care costs. Currently teachers don't pay for their health benefits at all. It doesn't seem to much to ask in this economy. I don't know anyone who doesn't pay something for their health care.

5. California has the 3rd highest unemployment rate at 12.3%. We are behind Michigan (#2, 13.2%) and Nevada (#1, 14.2%)

6. California ranks 4th in the nation in the number of foreclosures. 1 out of every 194 homes in our state is somewhere in the process of foreclosure. Wow!!

7. 21% of California residents have no health insurance, the 4th highest rate in the country.

8. We are ranked 37th out of 51 in high school graduation percentage. Only 68% of our students graduate. Arkansas, West Virginia, Michigan, Kentucky all outrank us. Kick our butt.
Shame.


So let me ask you Californians, is preventing gay marriage really more important than any of the things on this list?

People Smarter than Me Said It

So I have spent the better part of a day trying to come up with something profound, wise or witty about the ruling in California yesterday overturning Proposition 8. I think my position on the issue is clear. In reality, hasn't it all been said? So in that vein, I went looking for quotes that spoke to the issue or issues brought up in the debate. Some surprising quotes from some surprising sources.

Majority Rules:

All, too, will bear in mind this sacred principle, that though the will of the majority is in all cases to prevail, that will to be rightful must be reasonable; that the minority possess their equal rights, which equal law must protect, and to violate would be oppression. Thomas Jefferson

Individual rights are not subject to a public vote; a majority has no right to vote away the rights of a minority; the political function of rights is precisely to protect minorities from oppression by majorities (and the smallest minority on earth is the individual).
Ayn Rand

The truth does not require a majority to prevail, ladies and gentlemen. The truth is its own power. The truth will out. Never forget that.
Rush Limbaugh

Does Equality really mean Equality for Everyone?

An equal application of law to every condition of man is fundamental. Thomas Jefferson

A people who extend civil liberties only to preferred groups start down the path either to dictatorship of the right or the left. Justice William O. Douglas

Gay Partners already get "similar" benefits through employment so it is not necessary to get married.

I am not interested in picking up crumbs of compassion thrown from the table of someone who considers himself my master. I want the full menu of rights. Bishop Desmond Tutu

Name Calling & the Smear Campaign

Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people. Oscar Wilde

Facts are meaningless. You can use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true. Homer Simpson

If we love our country, we should also love our countrymen. Ronald Reagan.

D'oh!!!!!!

Again?????

Yesterday morning, I went out to the backyard to water some of the flower pots, it was promising to be a hot one. Something caught my eye in the pool area. This:




Another duck mom and babies. This time 8. I am not a duck expert but I am fairly certain this is not the same mom as 6 weeks prior. Last week Chizz & I were having a drink out in the backyard when a female duck landed in our pool. She was there for a little while when she went up into the bushes (where we think the ducks having been making their nests) and disappeared. Then this week, viola!!

I think it is kind of cool that no matter what we think we know, mother nature throws a wrench in things every now and then. This year there has been a lot of discussion in our neck of the woods about what a strange weather year it has been. For the most part we have had a cooler than usual summer weather. In fact the National Weather Service says it is the coolest summer in our area in 40 years. Wow! We just returned from the East Coast last week where they are going through a bit of a heat wave lately, and let me tell you - it was plenty hot. 85 degrees at night for dinner. It just goes to show that you can't control everything. Somethings just happen.

I am thinking the duck maternity ward is closed now. The mom hung around overnight, after tucking her brood under her wings for the night. She left sometime this morning after 9 or so. It was cool having them around but I am thinking we are done. Maybe. . . . .

Why I Love Our Friends. . . .

We had an absolutely wonderful 4th of July weekend with some of our friends at Lake Tahoe. As our lives seem to get busier with volleyball matches, school, college searches, jobs, it is harder and harder to connect on a regular basis or as often as we would like. This weekend the stars aligned. And perhaps because we can't do it regularly enough, we seem to appreciate and enjoy the times we do spend together much more. The group is comfortable enough together to spend entire evenings together or to split up in various combos. Want to hike? Sure, at least 2 or 3 others in the group will join you. How about a trip to the beach? Off go 4. Shopping? 3 girls and 2 credit cards (otherwise known as Moms) will do that. Various combinations of kids, parents, some related, some not. It is comfortable and fun.

About 2 weeks ago, I mentioned I was making a cork wreath from wine corks I had collected over the past few months. It is pretty big and I miscalculated the number of corks I needed. So far at least 300 corks have gone into it and I had just about run out. So I just mentioned to a few people I needed more corks. This is what my cork jar looked like before last weekend (on Thursday):

This is what it looked like today, after I included the corks from the weekend and some brought by our friends:

And that is what I love about our friends. No, not that they drink a lot of wine (although that might be one of the reasons). You can count on them. Whether it is to bring you corks to finish a a project or to take your kids to the beach when you might not want to go or to provide a bed when you are on your way to the airport or to give you a hand to hold when you literally need one to go forward or to listen to your work problems or to go on a hike with when no one else in your family will or to give you aloe when you are sunburned or to share a favorite new wine store or cook a fabulous dinner while you sit around and enjoy nature. Thanks guys! XOXOXO

When You Lie Down With Dogs, You Wake Up With Fleas ***

There has been quite a bit of discussion in our house about the penalties imposed on USC by the NCAA this week. In full disclosure, we are a PAC-10 family. More specifically, we are a UCLA-CAL-Stanford family. We are VERY Ucla, with 3 of my sisters having graduated from Ucla, a brother-in-law with a UCLA post graduate degree, a nephew graduating from UCLA this week, and Kiki currently attending. So we have quite a bit to say about USC on any given day, but we run at the mouth with commentary this week.

USC is one of those institutions that elicits strong emotions from people. You either LOVE them or HATE them; there doesn't seem to be any middle ground. Sort of like cilantro. Over the years, I must admit, we have been on the hating side. Probably not all deserved but they always seem to give us great ammunition. It's easy to hate them. They always win, they always have celebrities roaming the sidelines, they always get their games televised. All those things are pretty superficial but there were other things as well. Their sort of "take-no-prisoners" attitude rubs people the wrong way. There was the blow up last year between UCLA and USC when Pete Carroll decided to run up the score in retaliation for UCLA (probably ill advisedly) using its time outs to try and get the ball back late in the 4th quarter in a 21-7 game. This was after Coach Carroll cried foul when Stanford ran up the score against USC just TWO WEEKS PRIOR!! Stanford might have been retaliating for USC running up the score the year prior. It seems as far as USC believes, what is sauce for the goose shouldn't be sauce for the gander. And that is why people don't like them. It is one thing to run up a score to get a higher BCS ranking but then you can't complain when others do it to you. It is part of the game -on both sides.

I don't believe that USC didn't know about the Bush/Mayo/unnamed female tennis player infractions. OJ Mayo, a kid with a very humble background, had a 43 inch screen tv in his dorm room. No one saw that? Please. Reggie Bush, college student with middle class working parents, drives a blinged out SUV. C'mon. USC has to have the biggest pair of blinders to not see these things and not wonder how, why. If they didn't know, they should have. You can't choose to ignore things and then claim innocence. In law, very often the standard is not what you knew or when you knew it but should you have known it. In the very least, USC wasn't keeping a close enough eye on its players to know that they were possibly endangering the program with infractions. Why? Because USC is caught up in its' own hype. Take this quote from USC's athletic director yesterday:

USC athletic director Mike Garrett, speaking at a previously scheduled USC Coaches' Tour at the Airport Marriott in Burlingame, Calif., had this to say to boosters: "As I read the decision by the NCAA, all I could get out of all of this was ... I read between the lines, and there was nothing but a lot of envy, and they wish they all were Trojans."

Really? This is a jealousy thing? Really? It seems like a childish response to me. I think he would have been better off with the old "I'm rubber and you're glue" rebuttal. Always works. Of course, this is spoken by a man who probably is in danger of losing his job very soon, so you have to take what he says with a grain of salt. But it is this very attitude that the NCAA indicates in its' decision that:

"The general campus environment surrounding the violations troubled the committee"

Ya' think? From the day they first discovered they could throw a ball farther or run faster than their other classmates, gifted athletes have been conditioned to know the rules don't apply to them. It starts out with missing a class or two to travel to a game and culminates in scholarships to schools that they most likely couldn't attend by way of their high school grade point average. It is up to the adults in their lives to act like adults and tell them no. Unfortunately that does not happen often. And we are where we are. College football and basketball programs are mere training camps for pros. Players start off with a few free cars and "no-rent" housing for their parents and then graduate to the pros where they get slaps on their hands for smacking around their wives or girlfriends or carrying concealed weapons in night clubs. Why are we surprised?

I am not buying USC claims of ignorance. Pete Carroll left USC as soon as he could, got out while the getting was good. All this happened on his watch. By the time he left, USC knew what was coming down. It was why they voluntarily imposed some of their own penalties on their basketball team before the NCAA finished their investigation. So what did USC do when it came down to hiring a new coach? I would think a University that wanted to rehabilitate their image might choose a coach whose integrity was beyond reproach. Someone the kids could look up to, a role model. No - they hired Lane Kiffin. Kiffin was the University of Tennessee coach for one short year. Of course he had a six year contract with Tennessee which he had just formalized three months before taking the USC job. USC came calling and Kiffin broke his contract. Committment. In his short tenure with Tennessee he and his staff amassed 6 "minor" recruiting violations. In addition on his way out the door, one of his staff was accussed of calling the Tennessee recruits and trying to convince them to come to USC. Classy.

USC hired a coach that would fit into their win at any cost culture. And sometimes when you play with fire, you get burned.

***Apologies to my canine loving friends.

Something New

I am trying out a new look. I am not if this a permanent look. I am not sure if I won't try other looks. I am a rebel that way. Buckle your seat belts.

Better Late Than Never

We have a pool in our backyard; a cement pond as the Beverly Hillbillies used to say. For many of the almost 14 years we have lived here, we have had ducks that visit the pool on their way to and from where ever ducks go to and from. Sometimes in the Spring, the mom will have a few babies. We have had babies almost every spring, not all but probably 10 out of the 14 years. I suspect it has not been the same ducks over the years as the life span for this particular type of duck is 5 - 10 years. (Wow, think of that. That is a huge spread, 50%. If we did that in people years, it would be something like 38-77. Can you imagine, you die somewhere between the ages of 38 - 77? Not narrowed down any further. I guess that is what you can expect when you spend most of your days avoiding dogs, coyotes or hawks. Keeps you on your toes.) Anyway, it is most likely not the same ducks. But they still come.

This year in mid-May, we noticed a male and female hanging out a lot at the pool but it is much, much later than normal. Usually by Easter, they have come and gone. One year on Easter Sunday, we had a mallard fight in a backyard. That was the year of the duck menage a trois. 2 males and 1 female showed up at the pool a few days before, seemingly at peace with the "arrangement". However, it all came to a head on Easter Sunday when one of the males attacked the other and after that, only one male duck. That is the year Uncle D fondly refers to as "the year we almost had duck for Easter dinner."

So when the ducks came so late this year, we figured that they had missed the mating season but out of habit went to the same spot and they would move on. We saw them quite a bit last weekend while working in the backyard, swimming in the pool, hanging out in the ivy. Old habits die hard, we figured. This morning I was in the yard working on a bench I am re-staining, and I happened to glance in the pool. To my surprise:




Mom has 9 new babies. It took quite a bit of time for me to count the babies, she moved them around quite a lot not sure if I was going to do more than count or take photos. They are very, very, very new. I suspect this morning sometime. The fuzz is still there and a few of the ducks seem a little unsure of swimming. I couldn't capture it on film but a few times a few of the ducklings would hop on Mom's back trying to take a break. Mom was having none of it, quacking at them what I was sure was "You are never going to learn to swim if you ride on my back all the time". Words to live by. So I called Zabba and Auntie K over to have a look before school and they were quite the hit.

What's not to love?



After a while, she took them up on the ledge to the hot tub to rest up. Swimming a few hours after birth is just a bit taxing.



They are still out there, about 3 1/2 hours after discovery. I am sure Mom will move them in a bit but for now I am enjoying peeking in at them every now and then. Just when you think you have it all figured out, Mother Nature throws a curve ball. It is a marvelous thing to watch. Enjoy your weekend!

26

So this week Chizz and I celebrated our 26th anniversary. It's a strange feeling. How did it get to be so long? In one way it seems like I have ALWAYS known Chizz, he has always been there. But in other ways, it just doesn't seem like it has been 26 years. A lifetime. I have known and been married to him more than half of my life, and he to me more than half of his. But wasn't it just a few years ago we bought our first house? No, twenty years. Wasn't it just months ago that we had our first child? No, 18 years. I never understood when older folks than me used to say "It goes by in a blink of an eye". Until recently.

Now we are almost on the threshold of a new stage of our life. I think of life as a series of thresholds. Visually I like the idea of stepping through a threshold from one stage of your life, crossing over the threshold to the next stage of your life. We arethisclose to being empty nesters. Snake has one more year of school and off to college. He has already explained to us that it is most likely out of state, most likely not on this coast, most likely extremely far away. He is ready to start his next stage. Crossing literally from the threshold of our home, to the threshold of a college dorm or apartment or fraternity. Blink of an eye.

So where does that leave us? Truthfully, I am looking forward to the next part. Who knows what that will be or where? I look forward to joining Chizz on some of his business trips. I can entertain myself in New York or Chicago or Amsterdam while he is off doing work things. It will seem strange not consulting schedules other than our own to make plans or go places. All our lives it seems we have had to check work schedules, school schedules, baseball schedules, swim team schedules before making decisions. Not any more. Not that I didn't enjoy that phase of our life; I did, we did. Blink of an eye. But our life isn't over, and I am looking forward to crossing that next threshold. Just hope this part doesn't go by that fast.

In a Nutshell

This cartoon succinctly describes our recent home life here at WTF.






Is someone spying on us?

Something Stinks in Camarillo!

We are still back east finishing up the great "You ruined my spring break" college tour. Last night I went online to check our bank account and make sure our tax checks cleared. They did. Quickly, of course. I also noticed three debit charges to our account from Ralphs, Vons and Hugo Boss in Camarillo, Ca. They were from Chizz's debit card. Now if you know Chizz, you know that he doesn't really grocery shop, unless you count beer, and if you looked at his wardrobe, you know he doesn't shop at Hugo Boss. And since I knew he was sitting about 2 feet away from me, I knew he wasn't in Camarillo.

We called our Bank immediately. Well immediately after about 10 minutes trying to find a line that a human would answer, not a recording. Hmmmm. Another rant for another day! The Bank employees indicated that they could tell that someone had actually swiped a card for these purchases. The persons that did this probably have the ability to clone a the card once they have a number. If you believe the time stamps on the debits, they took all the money in one day within about an hour or so. Fast work So the Bank had to block Chizz's card. Not fun while you are on a trip but since I am here, I can use my card. It is just lucky he isn't on a business trip somewhere, as it is going to take about 2 or 3 business days to get a new card to him.

So we have to wait for a few days for them to correct this. I have no doubt they will, I have loads of proof Chizz was in Philadelphia, not Camarillo. Eventually we will get our $700 back, I will make sure. So if you see a well dressed, well fed man in Camarillo calling himself "Chizz Whineberg", call the authorities. After of course, you say to him "Sir, I know Chizz Whineberg , Chizz Whineberg is a friend of mine and you are no Chizz Whineberg". Thank you.