Boy Communication vs. Girl Communication

When Kiki left for college, I wasn't worried that I wouldn't hear from her. She is my communicative child. All throughout high school, Kiki always kept in touch. Whether it was a call at break time or lunch to remind me to do something or a furtive text from class to let me know a great grade on a paper or test score. She has always kept in touch. It has been the same way since she has gone to college. She routinely calls me when walking to class to let me know what is going on in her life or to catch up on hometown gossip. She still texts to let me know a great grade or to see if I remembered to make a tuition or housing payment. I am pretty much in constant contact with her.

I always said that it would be different when Snake goes to college. His communication genes come from Chizz's side of the family tree. While as Kiki texts or calls me almost on a daily basis, I know that my contact will be quite different with Snake. I will most like drop him off at college in September and I won't hear from him again until the day before Thanksgiving when he checks in to find out his travel arrangements to come home for the holiday.

So why am I surprised at his lack of communication on his trip to Peru? Perhaps I thought the international nature of his trip would prompt some desire on his part to keep in touch or he would just be homesick. So far the communication has been minimal to say the least. He has been gone a week. I have heard from him directly twice, maybe three times. I say maybe because I am not certain about one time. It is not that I expect to him to be in daily contact with us but since there have been some developments in that part of the world, I have been wishing there was a bit more contact.

Or maybe it is because the quality of his communications have been less than satisfactory. The communications so far have been brief. His first email was about 4 lines. One line to tell me he was having difficulty texting on his phone. But not to worry as he can get internet on his Ipod through the hotel. He asked me to respond to let him know that I got his message and oh, by the way, he was doing great in Peru. I responded back with about 6 paragraphs, describing completely what he needed to do to send a text internationally, advising him of our travel plans in detail, what was going on here, reminding him to take photos, asking what he had done so far, advising him that I had followed the 5 paragraphs of instructions he left me on getting concert tickets for a concert that went on sale last week and that I was successful in getting a difficult ticket, inquiring about the weather and wishing him a great time on his trip. He responded with 4 lines (again) thanking me for getting the ticket, indicating that it wasn't a dialing problem with the texting - he just wasn't getting service, wishing me a great time on our trip and that he was, indeed, having fun so far but he was getting very little sleep. I sent him back a 4 paragraph email, detailing the results of my 45 minute communique with ATT about his difficulties in texting internationally and what he needed to do now, reminding him of the exorbitant costs of telephone calls and the prohibitive costs of data downloads or internet d downloads from his phone and reminding him not to do any of that under ANY circumstances, reminding him to try and get a good nights sleep when he can and to take photos. His 2 line response the next day was to advise me that Iron Maiden was set to make a big concert tour announcement on Thursday and I needed to stand by in case he needed to get tickets for whatever concert they were about to announce. And he was doing great in Peru.

That last communication was about 6 hours before the 8.8 earthquake in Chile, the country right next door to Peru. So I waited, and waited, and waited. Thinking any moment he would email or text me to let me know that although he had felt the earthquake, things were status quo in Peru. Nothing. And more Nothing. So I send him an email, asking him if he had heard about the earthquake and perhaps it might be nice to let his poor old mom & dad know that he was "doing great in Peru". Nothing.

Until this morning, when I got a text from an unfamiliar cell phone number in our local area code. It said "Snake is doing well and sends his love." Hmmmmmm. The second part so doesn't sound like Snake, but in a way the message is all Snake. It is all about him reading my email after the earthquake, and thinking he has to communicate with me but forgot to charge his phone and doesn't have internet service to communicate. Soooooo he talks his friend at 925xxxxxxx into sending me a quick text to let me know he is fine, the "sending his love" is the editorializing of another 16 year old boy. You just need to read between the lines (or the words if there are hardly any lines).

Gosh, I can't wait for college. I just hope I hear from him before graduation.

Metal Mom

I am fairly certain I was the oldest person waiting this morning for the Ticketmaster clock to strike 10:00 a.m. for a particular show. That was the magic hour for the Mastodon concert tickets to go on pre-sale. Since Snake was a bit uncertain as to what his internet capabilities would be in Peru, he buttered me up for several days so that I might do exactly what I did. Waiting for the clock to tick down so I could snag a high coveted General Admission, Floor, Standing Room ticket??? What? He doesn't even want to sit down and enjoy the melodic sounds of "Aqua Dementia" or "Blood and Thunder" waft over him? Nooooooooooo! It is way more fun to be on the floor and thrash around and be involved in the music. Snake loves getting as close to the bands as he can. That way he can snag a drum stick or set list when the band throws them into the crowd.

My mom used to do something similar for us when we were growing up. She would call up radio stations while we were at school and try to win tickets or free albums for us for whatever group was coming to town next - Loverboy, Heart, Debbie Gibson. The worst was when she won, she would have to go on the air with the DJ and say something like "96.1 plays the coolest music" or scream like she was 15 years old. But she would do it. All for the free stuff.

So Snake will see Mastodon in the Spring. Perhaps while he is at the concert, I will sit back and listen to my favorite Mastodon song "Cut you with a Linoleum Knife", their thinly disguised rant against people who talk during movies. Just trying to make the world better, one song at a time.

Faux Empty Nest

So Snake left this week to go to Peru on a school trip. His school is on the trimester system, where the school year is divided into 3 sections as opposed to 4 quarters/2 semesters as most schools seem to be. The problem is that the school year doesn't divide evenly into 3; there are a few leftover weeks. So Snake's school devised what they call "mini term". Mini term is two weeks of 2 classes per day that are sort of fun but have some educational component to them. The teachers get to teach classes in areas they might have a particular interest in or passion. For example, last year Snake took Archery and "Snap, Crackle, Pop - Your Brain on Drugs", a science course on what physically happens to your body when you take drugs. There was a history/cooking class that followed the Spice Trade in Asia and why that was both historically and culinarily important. There was a course on hiking the many trails in our area, a photography course, usually a few sports oriented courses etc. In addition, usually a trip or two that kids can sign up for (for an additional fee, of course)that have a community service component to them. Last year for example, the kids went to Louisiana and worked with Habitat for Humanity and helped rebuild an area still devastated by Hurricane Katrina.

This year the trip is to Peru. They had an overwhelming response but could only take so many students. The administration wanted to leave it open for a wide variety of students, so each student had to fill out a questionnaire and write a short essay about why they would be a perfect student to take on this trip. Snake pointed out that in addition to speaking Spanish fairly well, he was a well-seasoned traveller thanks to our short overseas assignment. He included anecdote about being held at immigration when he was travelling between London and US by himself. (Apparently, being an adult as far as flying alone on the airlines is not the same as going through immigration as an adult. A minor, under 16, must have someone waiting for them on the other side before they can be released.) Snake wrote about the incident as an example as to why you have to be flexible when you travel. Things happen and you have to learn how to roll with the punches, especially when you travel. He thinks, and I believe he is correct, that the essay was a good portion of why he was chosen.

There has only been one potential disappointment. Several weeks before the scheduled departure, there was a horrible mudslide/flood at Machu Picchu, the pre-Colombian Inca city. The roads and more importantly, the railroad tracks have been flooded and are inoperable. The Peruvian officials have no idea how long it is going to take to clear the site, although they are motivated as this is the number tourist attraction in Peru. So for now, they don't think they are going to be able to go, which is a shame. However, the chaperones are keeping an open mind and if by some miracle it opens while the group is there, they will try and get there.

The rest of the trip will include both hotel stays and stays with local families. The students will take language classes as well as classes in salsa, cooking and ceramics. They will work with younger children in preschools helping them learn a little English. They will also get to sight see and try a few Peruvian delicacies. I think it will be a fantastic experience.

Oh, and just in case you are worried about what Chizz and I doing while our nest is empty. Don't. We are going south, baby. To Carmel. Where we plan on not helping any children in pre-school, hanging out at restaruants, doing some, ok ALOT, wine tasting, taking some driving tours, going to a movie or two.

I think it will be a fantastic experience.

Lions and Tigers and Snakes, Oh My!!

The weather has been wacky crazy this week. It has rained in biblical proportions, the result of 5 or so storms stacked one right after another. We have had rain, hail, a bit of snow on some of the higher elevations. Today I was working in the back room and I heard the emergency broadcasting system alert go off. Chizz was watching TV and they interrupted. On a very rare occasion we will get interruptions for an Amber alert or sometimes in storms such as these we get a flash flood warning. Not today. Today's emergency was a tornado alert!! Holy Wizard of Oz, Batman! Right here in our county. Apparently a funnel cloud was spotted in a town not far from here. It was exciting. Of course, the warning lasted all of about five minutes. It was over fairly quickly after the instructions to "shelter in place, go to the lowest elevation in your house" and "do not take shelter under a freeway overpass". Since we didn't have any freeway overpasses in our house, we were pretty lucky. We were still contemplating where the lowest elevation in our house was (we think the sunken living room, we weren't sure) when the warning was over. So we escaped the tornado.

Almost. Shortly after the warning, I went into Snake's room. Actually, the tornado didn't miss us after all. That would be the only explanation:

Backyard Tourists

Lately, Chizz and I have been visiting places close by that we have always meant to go to but somehow have never gotten the chance. When we took Kiki to the airport recently, we drove by this huge flea market/swap meet that is very close to the going to the airport freeway. I said aloud "we should go there sometime and just see what it is like". Sometime was this past weekend.

Actually, we went to the flea market next door. Who knew this area would have more than one flea market to visit? Parking in the area is pretty difficult, apparently this is a very popular flea market. There are actually two sections, one is a more formal pay $1 flea market and the other area is the people who just kind of set up a little area to sell their items. I am not sure what the odds are that this is true, but I got the feeling quite a bit of this stuff was stuff that had "fallen off the truck" or just out and out stolen. There were stalls after stalls of used work tools, drills, hammers, sanders, all used. Loads of used bicycles. We saw tables of laptops, one after another. Used but still pretty nice looking. Televisions, stereo systems, speakers. The "paid" area of the flea market had mostly new stuff but still, how are these people selling table loads of 409 cleaner, or toilet paper, or socks. You have to wonder how they actually got the items they are selling but you don't have to wonder for too long. We could have even gotten a stun gun from a table with a sign that declared they had several for sale, along with some whips and stuff. I wanted to take photos of both sides but I had a feeling that people would not take kindly to having their photos taken. So because I didn't have my running shoes on, I chose not to take the photos.

After we left the flea market, we decided to go to another area we had been too before but it had been many years before, Jack London Square. On Sundays there is small farmers market going on. We got there kind of late so not much there and it was a pretty cold day. Not too cold for Asian string players.

I think this man is a regular.




One of the things we liked best in London, wait one of the things Chizz liked best in



London, was finding a new pub to try out. Very often the pubs were historic, frequented by this prince or that famous author. Very often the pub looked like it hadn't changed an iota since it was founded. So we were excited to see this on our arrival at Jack London Square. It is a cute little small bar or pub. It appears to have quite a few names: J.M. Heinold's Saloon, First and Last Chance, or Jack London's Rendezvous. The inside is adorable, about 3 tables and five or six stools at the bar. The floor has a definite tilt, you can see it in the photo of the bar, the whole bar is tilted downward. The bar does have an interesting history as well. It opened in 1883 and was built from the timbers of an old whaling ship. In the 1920s a ferry between Alameda and Oakland ran from a nearby pier and Heinold's was literally the last chance, commuters could get a beverage before getting on the boat. Over the years, the bar enjoyed a mild success. It was the teenage hangout for a young Jack London, who used to study at the tables. He confided with the owner that he really wanted to enroll in the University of California at Berkeley. Mr. Heinold lent him the money and although London didn't make it past his first year, London must have felt some gratitude as he used Mr. Heinold's name and the name for the First and Last Chance Saloon in his novel, John Barleycorn.

In the great 1906 San Francisco earthquake, the pilings of the pier that bar was situated on, sunk into the mud under the pier, causing the floor to slant. Over the years they have tried to shore up the floor to straighten it out, without much success. So eventually they stopped trying. The clock in the bar stopped that morning and they have never wound it back up so you can still it at 5:18. It is hard to tell from this photo, but the walls just have all kinds of stuff on them. Chizz was interested in a display case that contain lots of Germany army pins with swastikas. There are pieces of currencies from all over the world tacked up on the wall. The bar and rail are original to the bar. Can't you just imagine Jack London sitting there, having a drink making notes for his next book?

There is lots of history in our own backyards. Chizz and I speak often of how lucky we are to live in an area that folks all over the world come to visit on their vacations. Sometimes we all take for granted those things right in our own neighborhood that are available to explore. I doubt too many tourists have the Oakland Flea Market on their list or even Jack London Square but these are places I have always wanted to visit, but never seemed to find the time. This weekend we found the time. I challenge you to visit something in your figurative backyard, something you have always meant to check out. In this economy, it pays to be a Backyard Tourist. The airfare is cheap.

Holiday Aftermath

Well, holidays are officially over (well, not if you ask Target because they have already moved on to Valentines Day, St. Patrick's Day and the Superbowl!). The WTF household had pretty nice holiday overall.

For the first time in a long time, I felt as if I actually got to enjoy the holidays a bit more this year. Many times it just all goes by in a red and green blur. Perhaps it is because the kids are older, or we are older but it seems as if we were all a bit more relaxed this holiday. I just didn't feel the pressure to create the perfect Christmas "damn it" and perhaps because there was no pressure, it all seemed to work out beautifully. I even sent out a Christmas card or two. We enjoyed our "old" traditions and perhaps started a new one or two. Maybe when your kids are older, you don't work so hard to create memories because part of the holiday is spent reliving the old ones.

It was nice having Kiki back from college. Mercifully, there were no power struggles over car use and I don't remember any arguments either. She has grown up and so have we. She and I were discussing her New Year's Eve plans which included a group of kids going into the City and spending the night there at a friend's apartment. I was more than a little leery about it and I expressed my concerns about it really being an unsupervised party, likely with alcohol and no adults. Kiki paused for a minute, looked at me and said "Mom, what do you think college is?" . . . . . Alrighty. Actually she is right. We have to get used to her fielding these situations on her own. Now of course, that doesn't mean she still doesn't get the occasional lecture about safety etc and that as an 18 year old, alcohol use is against the law. But I can't be with her every time she has one of this situations pop up. So I have to just take comfort in the fact that I have given her 4,357,286 of these lectures and hopefully when the time is right, she will hear my voice in her ear giving the lecture again as if it were on shuffle on her Ipod.

Snake spent the holiday recharging his battery, which included sleeping until noonish, spending time on the computer, endless hours of football on tv and a few concerts. He went back to school today and I think it has been hard for him to get into the groove. He just called and told me he forgot what the schedule he was on today (his school has a block schedule which has a different schedule each day). So he inadvertantly skipped second period today because he thought it was a day he had a free period. He is on his way to the office to 'fess up and take whatever consequences are assigned.

So now I am left with dismantling Christmas. That always seems to take longer than it did to put it up. I have two mini deadlines, one is to make the house seem livable by tomorrow when Auntie L comes to visit. The next is one is two days later when the recycler comes for the tree. Right now, the cyclone that is my living room says I might not make either deadline. Yikes.

According to Target, I only have 32 more shopping days until the next big holiday, the Superbowl. Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!

VICTORIOUS!!!

See post here . Told ya! Details to follow after the holidays as I don't want to give away who might be getting these items.

Merry Christmas to All!!