it were your son, your brother, your cousin, your friend, your nephew, your grandson, your neighbor, would you believe Penn State and Joe Paterno had done enough?
Yeah, didn't think so.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Thursday, June 23, 2011
The Empty Nest
Well, this weekend Chizz and I took tiny baby steps toward the next stage in our life. We went to orientation at Snake's college. I think it is a relatively new phenomenon, parents attending orientation. I don't remember my parents going to any college orientations but it is a good idea. If nothing else, it gives the parents a point of reference when their child mentions a place or location on campus. You can visualize it in your mind. Or if they don't call, you have a better image of what trouble they may or may not be getting into.
In our case, Snake is going to a mid-size university in a large size city, Washington DC. Since he is one of over two thousand entering freshman, I am pretty sure I won't be giving away his anonymity if I mention the university - THE George Washington University. THE is a very important part of the name. If you are used to the way Ohio State football players say their almamater's name, then you get the idea. GW (or G-Dub, if you are so inclined) is right smack dab in the middle of it in DC. Four blocks from the White House, right next door to the World Bank (in fact, the World Bank Building is on GW property, if you believe GW), a hop, skip and a jump to the Lincoln and Washington Memorials. It is an inspiring location. I am hopeful that Snake will enjoy the historical and political nature of this city. I know I will on my many, many, many visits!!
The parents' program ran parallel to the students' program. Some of our seminars were the same, except from a different perspective. For example, they had a session on housing. For the kids, it dealt with specific questions on their particular housing assignments, what to expect on move in day, how to deal with roommates, the role of the house proctor (RA), and overall life in the dorms. For the parents, we dealt with the practical - what to bring (or more importantly what NOT to bring) on move in day, tours of the residence halls, how packages and mail are treated (for security reasons in DC, packages are dealt with in a different manner). I took advantage of the dorm tours. Ask my kids and the kids I have gone on college tours with, I LIVE for dorm tours - love, love, love them. The dorm Snake is going to live in is pretty old, I think built before 1925 but don't hold me to it. But overall, it is not bad. The rooms are pretty large even for those kids who will be in either a 5 person or 6 person room, like Snake. The rooms are not luxurious by any means, but they shouldn't be. These are kids, they shouldn't live in the same manner as their parents - they haven't earned it. But my-oh-my you should have heard the parents kvetching. "How could their little princess with 45 pairs of shoes be expected to share a closet? The bathroom are simply awful! These floors should be carpeted! These floors shouldn't be carpeted! (Some rooms have carpet, some don't. Whatever you have, apparently you won't be happy with)." After listening to one mom go on and on and on about how small the 4 person room her daughter had (which by the way, contained 4 single beds, 4 dressers, 4 desks and 4 closets), I told her I thought these dorms were fairly large and pointed out that at UCLA where Kiki goes, they would put 10 kids in this room and it still would have more room then most of the dorms there. She was not amused. Whatever.
Then we had the programs more specific to the attendee. For the kids, sessions on class registration, meetings with advisers, the different programs and departments at the schools. For parents, sessions on campus security, financial aid, the meal plan, study abroad, etc. GW has a Parents Services department which acts as a liaison between the parents and the college. This department had several sessions which I thought were helpful. They also sponsored some skits about the different issues parents might face (how often to call, how to deal with homesickness, when to be concerned about a student, how to let go). Although many of the skits portrayed the mom as the "problem", which didn't seem to surprise Chizz as much as it outraged me, overall the skits were very well done. And something strange hit me. In the middle of the skits, it happened. I felt my throat tightening, and tears welling up in my eyes. It is not that I didn't know that sending my youngest child off to college would be tough, but I have 2 more months before he leaves. I know it will be hard. It was hard when we dropped Kiki off. I held it together until we got in the car, then the floodgates opened. But that was when we left her there. We still have 2 more months with Snake. Why is it different?
Perhaps because it is a bigger step to our next stage, the empty nest. Its not that I am not looking forward to the next part, I am. There are some big changes afoot in the WTF household. I can't go into it in detail because we haven't told quite everyone yet and they deserve to hear in person before I put it on the Internet or the world wide web, but I am excited about what the future holds. Maybe I am not quite ready for the "kid part" to end. Oh I know they will always be my kids, but they won't BE kids. They won't need me in the same way, rely on me the same way. No more little league games, swim meets, brownie meetings, skinned knees, missing teeth, Captain Underpants, American Girl dolls. No more family Jeopardy watching, hot tubs on winter nights, inside jokes (Japanese Businessmen pods - or walking without moving arms). Yes, I think that is it. I am nostalgic for those days past. How do I know? Because I am quietly crying on the train to NY right now, making the man next to me very uncomfortable. Yes, I think I have struck a nerve. Just didn't realize it would be mine.
In our case, Snake is going to a mid-size university in a large size city, Washington DC. Since he is one of over two thousand entering freshman, I am pretty sure I won't be giving away his anonymity if I mention the university - THE George Washington University. THE is a very important part of the name. If you are used to the way Ohio State football players say their almamater's name, then you get the idea. GW (or G-Dub, if you are so inclined) is right smack dab in the middle of it in DC. Four blocks from the White House, right next door to the World Bank (in fact, the World Bank Building is on GW property, if you believe GW), a hop, skip and a jump to the Lincoln and Washington Memorials. It is an inspiring location. I am hopeful that Snake will enjoy the historical and political nature of this city. I know I will on my many, many, many visits!!
The parents' program ran parallel to the students' program. Some of our seminars were the same, except from a different perspective. For example, they had a session on housing. For the kids, it dealt with specific questions on their particular housing assignments, what to expect on move in day, how to deal with roommates, the role of the house proctor (RA), and overall life in the dorms. For the parents, we dealt with the practical - what to bring (or more importantly what NOT to bring) on move in day, tours of the residence halls, how packages and mail are treated (for security reasons in DC, packages are dealt with in a different manner). I took advantage of the dorm tours. Ask my kids and the kids I have gone on college tours with, I LIVE for dorm tours - love, love, love them. The dorm Snake is going to live in is pretty old, I think built before 1925 but don't hold me to it. But overall, it is not bad. The rooms are pretty large even for those kids who will be in either a 5 person or 6 person room, like Snake. The rooms are not luxurious by any means, but they shouldn't be. These are kids, they shouldn't live in the same manner as their parents - they haven't earned it. But my-oh-my you should have heard the parents kvetching. "How could their little princess with 45 pairs of shoes be expected to share a closet? The bathroom are simply awful! These floors should be carpeted! These floors shouldn't be carpeted! (Some rooms have carpet, some don't. Whatever you have, apparently you won't be happy with)." After listening to one mom go on and on and on about how small the 4 person room her daughter had (which by the way, contained 4 single beds, 4 dressers, 4 desks and 4 closets), I told her I thought these dorms were fairly large and pointed out that at UCLA where Kiki goes, they would put 10 kids in this room and it still would have more room then most of the dorms there. She was not amused. Whatever.
Then we had the programs more specific to the attendee. For the kids, sessions on class registration, meetings with advisers, the different programs and departments at the schools. For parents, sessions on campus security, financial aid, the meal plan, study abroad, etc. GW has a Parents Services department which acts as a liaison between the parents and the college. This department had several sessions which I thought were helpful. They also sponsored some skits about the different issues parents might face (how often to call, how to deal with homesickness, when to be concerned about a student, how to let go). Although many of the skits portrayed the mom as the "problem", which didn't seem to surprise Chizz as much as it outraged me, overall the skits were very well done. And something strange hit me. In the middle of the skits, it happened. I felt my throat tightening, and tears welling up in my eyes. It is not that I didn't know that sending my youngest child off to college would be tough, but I have 2 more months before he leaves. I know it will be hard. It was hard when we dropped Kiki off. I held it together until we got in the car, then the floodgates opened. But that was when we left her there. We still have 2 more months with Snake. Why is it different?
Perhaps because it is a bigger step to our next stage, the empty nest. Its not that I am not looking forward to the next part, I am. There are some big changes afoot in the WTF household. I can't go into it in detail because we haven't told quite everyone yet and they deserve to hear in person before I put it on the Internet or the world wide web, but I am excited about what the future holds. Maybe I am not quite ready for the "kid part" to end. Oh I know they will always be my kids, but they won't BE kids. They won't need me in the same way, rely on me the same way. No more little league games, swim meets, brownie meetings, skinned knees, missing teeth, Captain Underpants, American Girl dolls. No more family Jeopardy watching, hot tubs on winter nights, inside jokes (Japanese Businessmen pods - or walking without moving arms). Yes, I think that is it. I am nostalgic for those days past. How do I know? Because I am quietly crying on the train to NY right now, making the man next to me very uncomfortable. Yes, I think I have struck a nerve. Just didn't realize it would be mine.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Okay, I Got On "The Facebook". Now What?
Alright, I got a Facebook page. I am not sure why. I guess because everyone else was, all the "cool" kids were doing it, peer pressure (and yes, I would jump off that proverbial bridge). But now I am not quite sure what I do with it.
I have 11 friends as of this morning, mostly relatives. That is not very many. Not compared to one of my "friends", a teenager who at the same time this morning had 626 friends! Yikes! How does that happen? I have asked my kids not to friend me (or more accurately not to feel bad about not friending me.) At this point in their lives they deserve a little privacy and I am not ready for more access. As I mentioned to a friend yesterday, I am happy being blissfully ignorant. Both Kiki & Snake seemed relieved.
But what do I do now? I know I should put my status on it, but I feel pressure, intimidated. Some people use their status to update their friends or family on the mundane activities of their lives, but I think that might be boring. Shouldn't my status be something pithy, profound or otherwise fascinating? I think so. So I have been racking my brain. And I think the more I think I become intimidated even more. Think, Wendy, think. What did I do yesterday? Would any of those things make a good status? Let's see. "Cleared off all knick-knacks, so furniture can be moved for new carpet". No. "Watched back-to-back episodes of Tabitha's Salon Takeover" No. "Went to Safeway" No. "Went to notary to get forms signed" No. "Played 3 games of Trouble with 5-year-old" No. Maybe my life isn't fascinating enough right now for a Facebook page. That is probably why I haven't updated my blog in a while (although there might be things in the works worth mentioning later). So I am stumped. I mentioned my conundrum to my friend, she accused me of overthinking. Just put something in and don't worry about it. My Safeway trip? My TV watching? My housework? Really? If this is what my "friends" want to see, I think I need more friends.
I have 11 friends as of this morning, mostly relatives. That is not very many. Not compared to one of my "friends", a teenager who at the same time this morning had 626 friends! Yikes! How does that happen? I have asked my kids not to friend me (or more accurately not to feel bad about not friending me.) At this point in their lives they deserve a little privacy and I am not ready for more access. As I mentioned to a friend yesterday, I am happy being blissfully ignorant. Both Kiki & Snake seemed relieved.
But what do I do now? I know I should put my status on it, but I feel pressure, intimidated. Some people use their status to update their friends or family on the mundane activities of their lives, but I think that might be boring. Shouldn't my status be something pithy, profound or otherwise fascinating? I think so. So I have been racking my brain. And I think the more I think I become intimidated even more. Think, Wendy, think. What did I do yesterday? Would any of those things make a good status? Let's see. "Cleared off all knick-knacks, so furniture can be moved for new carpet". No. "Watched back-to-back episodes of Tabitha's Salon Takeover" No. "Went to Safeway" No. "Went to notary to get forms signed" No. "Played 3 games of Trouble with 5-year-old" No. Maybe my life isn't fascinating enough right now for a Facebook page. That is probably why I haven't updated my blog in a while (although there might be things in the works worth mentioning later). So I am stumped. I mentioned my conundrum to my friend, she accused me of overthinking. Just put something in and don't worry about it. My Safeway trip? My TV watching? My housework? Really? If this is what my "friends" want to see, I think I need more friends.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Coincidence? I Think Not.
Well if you follow baseball, you know that the San Francisco Giants made it to the World Series. Just not on the night that Snake was there. But that is okay, at least they are in it and for a few more weeks we can be tortured by the spectacle that is San Francisco Giants Baseball.
That is it's "rep" - torture. Because the Giants never do things the easy way. It seems like every game was won by one or two runs; I hardly remember any blow outs. The game is always decided in the last inning or sometimes the last out. Some people find that exciting, I find it nerve wracking. I get as nervous as I did when one of our kids was playing sports. I find myself pleading ("just let them do well", "just one hit"), pacing, watching the game between the fingers that are clamped over my eyes. It is not easy.
So when in Game 6 the Giants fell behind the Phillies in the first inning, in addition to just feeling horrible for Jonathan Sanchez (I always think about their mothers and how tough it must be for them), I knew I had to to something. So I invoked the spirits of "Giants Past":
That is it's "rep" - torture. Because the Giants never do things the easy way. It seems like every game was won by one or two runs; I hardly remember any blow outs. The game is always decided in the last inning or sometimes the last out. Some people find that exciting, I find it nerve wracking. I get as nervous as I did when one of our kids was playing sports. I find myself pleading ("just let them do well", "just one hit"), pacing, watching the game between the fingers that are clamped over my eyes. It is not easy.
So when in Game 6 the Giants fell behind the Phillies in the first inning, in addition to just feeling horrible for Jonathan Sanchez (I always think about their mothers and how tough it must be for them), I knew I had to to something. So I invoked the spirits of "Giants Past":
That's right, I called out the Big Guns - the bobbleheads of JT Snow, Randy Winn and Benito Santiago. I put them around the TV and prayed that they do their magic, their mojo, their voodoo that they do so well. And what happened? The Giants tied up the game. Hmmmm. Then when the Phillies came back and tied it up, I decided we needed something else. Another icon. But what? Then it came to me. Actually, it fell out of the cabinet in the garage when I was putting something away.
The replica Giants baseball! And what happened, the Giants won. Coincidence? Puhhhhleeeeease! So tonight the Giants play in Game 1 of the World Series. And we will all be here watching - me, Chizz, Benito, JT, Snake and Randy. But don't worry if things get tough for the Giants, I've got the rally rag Snake found on the ground at Game 5 waiting in the bullpen. I'm just sayin'. . . . . .
Go Giants!!
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Best.Dad.Ever.
We have 1/2 of a 1/6th share of two season tickets to the San Francisco Giants. For years, our brother-in-law Uncle D has shared some season tickets with a group of friends, 2 bleacher seats in section 140. A while back, Uncle D considered giving up his share. He had become a new father and moved out of the city, my sister (his wife) was traveling on business more. It was getting harder and harder to get to games. Chizz came up with the idea that instead of giving up the seats, why didn't he share them with him? Hence the 1/2 share of 1/6th. It actually works pretty well, we get to go to 8 - 10 games a year, mostly in the summer. We all get to go to a few games a year.
This year the Giants have made it to the playoffs!!! Yahoo! So Uncle D & Chizz went to a little "draft" party with the other partners to decide how to split up the post season tickets. I am not exactly sure how it worked but I think what they did was pick numbers and based on your draw, you got to choose your ticket. Chizz and Uncle D each got a ticket to a playoff game and a World Series game. They even got the same playoff game, and they can go together. Well, until Snake expressed some interest in going. So what did Chizz do? He gave up his ticket to his son. What a guy!! So Snake gets to go to Game 5 tonight, not Chizz. So Snake gets to see arguably the best 2 pitchers in baseball today, Lincecum and Halliday, battle it out, not Chizz. So Snake gets to see, possibly, the Giants sew it up tonight, not Chizz. And all that is because Snake is already winner in the Dad lottery.
This year the Giants have made it to the playoffs!!! Yahoo! So Uncle D & Chizz went to a little "draft" party with the other partners to decide how to split up the post season tickets. I am not exactly sure how it worked but I think what they did was pick numbers and based on your draw, you got to choose your ticket. Chizz and Uncle D each got a ticket to a playoff game and a World Series game. They even got the same playoff game, and they can go together. Well, until Snake expressed some interest in going. So what did Chizz do? He gave up his ticket to his son. What a guy!! So Snake gets to go to Game 5 tonight, not Chizz. So Snake gets to see arguably the best 2 pitchers in baseball today, Lincecum and Halliday, battle it out, not Chizz. So Snake gets to see, possibly, the Giants sew it up tonight, not Chizz. And all that is because Snake is already winner in the Dad lottery.
Absolutely.
Go Giants.
Go Giants.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Chizz and I don't have facebooks for several reasons. For Chizz, it is because he has a hard time figuring out how to make sure his work life and his personal life don't intersect. He has a "phoney baloney job" gentlemen and they probably wouldn't understand things like rolling shopping carts off dorm buildings (allegedly), setting palapas on fire (accidentally - allegedly) and hitting Japanese employees of the Korean embassy with errant golf balls (truthfully). It's just best left unsaid.
Me? The reason I don't have one is that I don't want the embarrassment of my kids rejecting my friend request. Also, I think my kids have reached the age where, much to my dismay, they deserve a bit of privacy. C'mon think about it, as a young adult would you have wanted your mom knowing everything you did every moment of the day or, more importantly, every moment of every evening? Noooooooo! But in this digital age, we have the capability to do just that. Our kids have to learn what to put on line and when. If they don't it can have disastrous results - loss of potential jobs, loss of friends, damage to your reputation. I encourage my kids to think carefully about what they put online and save a few exceptions, I think they have been pretty good.
That is why I support applications such as this one. It helps kids make the appropriate choices online.
Thursday, September 02, 2010
Turkeys in My Own Back Yard
No, not the ones in the California Senate who can't pass a budget in time for the second year in a row. (By the by, c'mon guys and gals!!) Real turkeys. Wild ones. I was sitting talking with Snake in the family room (probably one of our deep philosophical discussion on the current problems of the day or football) when I noticed a turkey on our back lawn. Then another, then another. Wild turkeys are not totally unheard of in our area, but they are usually found in the parks or more remote areas. So I took a photo of the 5 or so that made it to our lawn.
When I was outside, I could hear quite a bit of noise. Who knew turkeys were so loud? I went the front and there were probably 30 turkeys total in the front of our house. I have to admit, these turkeys are pretty ugly.
Definitely not meal material. The strange thing is that the turkeys have now made an appearance two weeks in a row - both times on a Thursday. Is this some kind of strange deep set existentialist "anti-turkey" pre-Thanksgiving message? Are the turkeys of the world (or the turkeys of Northern California) trying to tell me something? We will see how long this trend continues. And if one of these turkeys shows up with Michael Moore or some kind of a protest sign, we may be having Vegetarian Thanksgiving this November!
When I was outside, I could hear quite a bit of noise. Who knew turkeys were so loud? I went the front and there were probably 30 turkeys total in the front of our house. I have to admit, these turkeys are pretty ugly.
Definitely not meal material. The strange thing is that the turkeys have now made an appearance two weeks in a row - both times on a Thursday. Is this some kind of strange deep set existentialist "anti-turkey" pre-Thanksgiving message? Are the turkeys of the world (or the turkeys of Northern California) trying to tell me something? We will see how long this trend continues. And if one of these turkeys shows up with Michael Moore or some kind of a protest sign, we may be having Vegetarian Thanksgiving this November!
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